Beware: The Sugar Daddy Syndrome

There’s an epidemic going around that scientists are calling “SDS,” also known as “The Sugar Daddy Syndrome.”

Symptoms include the following: expecting a man to take care of you financially, expecting a man to take care of you emotionally, and expecting a man to heal your past insecurities and pain.

There is one known cure for this all too familiar disease: Jesus.

It’s unfortunate that the “sugar daddy syndrome” has not only become the norm, but it’s being embraced. Popular faces throughout the Real Housewives, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and Basketball Wives, make you think this life is glamorous, but it’s not. It’s sad. The only difference between everyday women with sugar daddies and famous women with sugar daddies is the fame. Famous or not, these women all have the same hurt, the same insecurities, and the same pitiful dependency on a man to save their day.

Girls today are quicker to say, “I want me a baller” than “I want a man who loves the Lord.” I actually had a young girl tell me that she rather have money than to be happy. This girl was no more than 15 years old. She had barely reached puberty and already had a set idea that money had more value than her self-worth!

Where did she get such a thought? Are we doing everything we can to let our young girls know where their worth truly comes from?

If we don’t get our value from Jesus, then we’ll depend on the world to tell us who we are and what we’re worth. We’ll settle for men who really don’t deserve our time and we’ll sacrifice Godly principles for the sake of not being alone and feeling taken care of.

I used to be the queen of this lifestyle. I loved the idea of having a boyfriend and having someone to take care of my emotional needs. I expected to be taken out, not because I enjoyed eating out and knew I was worth it, but because I used him taking me out to define my worth. I wasn’t whole, so I expected the men I dated to make me whole. But, because God was never in those relationships, they never worked out. I was always left unfulfilled and heart broken.

The modern day sugar daddy is no longer limited to an older man. Heck, a sugar daddy doesn’t even have to be rich! A sugar daddy is any and every man you allow to run through your life thinking he can make you complete. You don’t know God for yourself and instead of finding your worth in Him, you hope a man can take care of your every need. But, he can’t. He wasn’t designed to be your all. Only God can do that.

God made you and your sugar daddy. He knows what’s best for you. He knows that man’s heart can’t give you what you need if he doesn’t even know his own Maker. You are so mesmerized at the idea of having someone to listen to how you feel that you never even stopped to ask the guy if he was saved. That man can’t even give you part of what you’re worth unless he knows the One Who made you.

So stop settling. Stop running from God. Attention, affection, and nice things may cover up your insecurities, but they’ll never get rid of them. Men and nice clothes can’t hide true character. Until you get your relationship with God right, your life will always reflect how you truly feel about yourself on the inside.

The interesting thing about sugar daddy relationships is that the man is usually just as insecure as the woman. That man is just as lonely and lacking just as much of a relationship with God as she is. They are both incomplete and hoping to find totality in each other. Neither get what they’re truly looking for because the fulfillment they each desire can’t be found in each other, it can only be found in God.

The sugar daddy may not admit it but deep down he recognizes she’s not with him for the love. But he doesn’t care enough about himself to leave. He’s in the relationship for the same reason she is: security.

“SDS” is not about love. It’s about compromise. Each person compromises their true value for the sake of temporary satisfaction. They are each worth so much more but don’t know it because they don’t know Who they are in God.

We need to stop glamorizing this life and start calling it what it really is: settling.

If you or someone you know is suffering from “SDS,” I want to let you know that God has so much better for you. But, you’ve got to be willing to let go and trust Him. Don’t you want the relationship you’re truly worth? Then be encouraged and learn to find your identity in Him. It’s not your man’s job to take care of you or to heal you. It’s your man’s job to love you. But, if you don’t know who you are, you’ll never be able to truly accept, recognize, or appreciate the love that you’re worth having.  Let go. You can do it! Just trust God. It’s that simple. He won’t let you down. I’m here to encourage you! Message or comment below if you need me! As always, please share the love of this post with someone else

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Jordonewrites@gmail.com

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Other blogs on this topic: 

1) Why Won’t God Send You a Husband?

2) Attraction vs. Love..What’s the Difference?

3) The Top 5 Reasons Many Christian Women Stay Single

4) The Top 6 Ways to Tell if You’re Settling in Your Relationship

5) Why Does Love Hurt?: Abusive Relationships

How to Deal with Church Hurt

Blog pic: blog.chron.com

 

Have you ever felt hurt by a member of your church?

Maybe a joke was said about you that hit you below the belt. Or, possibly you felt unappreciated for your hard work and dedication to the ministry. You may also have had a break up or bad relationship with a church member. Or, even worse, you may have experienced rape or sexual assault in the church.

If any of the above apply to you, I can relate to your experience.

When I was no older than 10 years old, a much older church member told me to come over to his car to get some candy after church. (This was a different church than the one I attend now). I will never forget what happened next: he stuck his tongue in my mouth and tried kissing me! Being young, I didn’t quite understand what he was doing but I knew it was wrong. Thankfully, it went no further than that.

By God’s grace, I never turned away from God because of that situation. But, there are many instances in which people are turning away from the church because of something a church member has done to them. When faced with any type of church hurt, it’s important to remember the following:

1) Don’t Blame God – It’s not God’s fault that man stuck his tongue in my mouth and it’s not God’s fault that any church member took advantage of you. If you let Satan’s deceptive ways turn you away from God, you’re giving the situation power over your life. If God has called you to be in a certain ministry, stay there. Use instances of ungodliness to be an intercessor of prayer. What if God wants to use your church hurt to inspire others? The devil may have won the battle, but he doesn’t have to win the war.

2) Forgive – God commands us to forgive immediately. Recovering from the hurt may take time, but the process towards healing can’t even begin until you forgive.

3) Satan Ain’t Stupid – The devil knows which church will allow you to grow most in God. He can recognize when you’re getting closer to the Father. He also knows which church members can best help you with your walk with Christ. It’s no coincidence that problems and discord arise in an area of your life where God is present. Satan isn’t happy about the idea of you drawing closer to God so expect the attacks to come. Remember: through the Holy Spirit you have power over anything Satan can throw at you.

4) Exercise Discernment – There may be times in our lives when God is commanding us to change churches. Other times, it’s the devil who doesn’t want us to get what God has for us. Ask God for wisdom to know which is which. Having a relationship with God will help you determine which attacks are signs from God and which are simply obstacles from the devil. If you don’t have a relationship with God, then use your church hurt as an opportunity to grow in Him, not stray the other way.

5) Be Selfless – Take yourself out of the situation and remember that anytime God places you in a church, or any environment, it’s always for purposes greater than yourself. Don’t just think of church as a time to grow in God for yourself. Remember: there are other people in your community who need the Word you are getting too. Anytime you leave somewhere God has called you to be, it doesn’t just affect you, it affects the whole body of Christ.

7)People are Imperfect – Everyone, including pastors, have fallen short of the glory of God. Regardless if your church hurt was intentional, unintentional, or an honest mistake, pray for the person and move on. Don’t let that hurt keep you from receiving the Word of God.

8) God isn’t in every church – It’s harsh but true. The Bible warns us that there will be false prophets and teachers. So, there are many church leaders who have started churches that God isn’t even a part of. Consequently, confusion, hurt, and disorder arises. People look at churches like this and blame God, but God is nowhere in that mess. You’ll always recognize a tree by the type of fruit it grows. Regardless of whether God is in your church or not, be assured that He is NOT in your church hurt. God is not the author of hurt, but love.

Above all else, remember we should go to church for God, not people. Regardless if you are experiencing church members who are for you or against you, don’t lose faith in where God has you growing. If your focus is on God, then the actions of others shouldn’t matter.

FREE GIVEAWAY: Get more inspirational Godly advice from the first two chapters of my book-absolutely FREE! Just subscribe to my blog! Subscribing is free and will give you instant access to all my posts! Subscribe now at the top right-hand side of the page. Read more about my book here.  

What have you done to overcome church hurt? Comment, share your thoughts, and share this post to help others (just click the links below)!

I love you,

Jordone

Jordonewrites@gmail.com

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Feeling Like God Hates You? Read This:

Pic Source: awaremed.com

 

Have you ever felt like God hates you?

“Why me? What am I doing wrong?” you might ask yourself

We’ve all been there, myself included. Just last week, I went through an instance at my job where I felt belittled. In my emotions, I allowed my thoughts to turn away from God.

“Why would you let me go through this?” I asked God. “Are you still near me?”

Thankfully, I turned my thoughts in a positive direction as I began to praise God and pray about the situation.

Your situation may be more intense compared to mine. You may be battling a divorce, job loss, a disease, a marriage, a relationship, death of a loved one, rape, abuse or molestation.

I’ve been there too. After getting raped two years ago, I blamed God and myself. I went through moments where I was so sure that God had forgotten about me.

But, He didn’t forget about me. And, regardless of your situation, He hasn’t forgotten about you either. God is always near His children. Even in our most difficult circumstances, His motive is still love, not hate. He is your creator, your Father, your Daddy, and your Protector-how could He hate you?

In the midst of your struggles, it’s most important to remember the following:

1) Are you saved? – If God doesn’t have your life, how can you blame Him for your problems? He can only takeover what He owns. God didn’t have my life when I was raped. So the people I surrounded myself with led my life down that path. It wasn’t my fault and it wasn’t God’s either. If He doesn’t own you, then your life is your own, not His. If you want Him to have your burdens, then you must give Him your life first by accepting His Son. Salvation is open to all of us.  Click here for the prayer of salvation.

2) Trials of Disobedience vs. Trials of Growth – There are times when we face trials because God needs us to grow in certain areas of our lives before moving us to the next level. There are other times that we face trials because we have stepped outside of God’s will. God never desires us to suffer which is why He gives us commands. He knows what’s down the path that’s not His. If we choose to step outside of His Word, alternate situations other than what He desires for us will naturally follow. It’s all about having faith in Him to make the right decision. The choice is ours to make.

3) Don’t Blame God – God is a God of love, not confusion or hate. If your in God’s will, your difficulties are there to mold you into greatness. Do you think President Obama never faces trials just because he lives in the White House? No! If anything, the President faces more trials because He is the President. Great callings cause for great amounts of patience. He’s got to prepare you for where you’re going!

4) Praise Him – You will watch a change in your situation occur when you just praise God through what you’re going through! I’m a living witness! Praising God through times of difficulty shows Him you won’t leave Him during times of richness. You’re learning to completely dedicate yourself to Him regardless of your circumstances.

5) Growth – You can either come out of this battle stronger or weaker. If you let the battle defeat you, that’s your choice. But, you can also choose to make it a time of growth. Imagine having a sense of peace where nothing bothers you! I know a lady like this at my church. Even through her mother’s death, she was smiling and praising God. She came out stronger and richer. Imagine having that kind of strength! Well, actually, you can have that kind of strength. The Holy Spirit that gives her strength is no different than the Holy Spirit in you. It’s up to the individual to exercise the God that’s in them.

6) Don’t Look Back. Keep moving forward. – Sometimes the enemy will use struggles to bring us back to our old ways. For example, when I’m in times of difficulty, the enemy loves to send images of wine my way because he knows I once struggled with abusive drinking (read about that here). Once you are saved and repent for your past, God is no longer looking at what’s behind you. Stay focused on what’s ahead. You can’t help what’s happened, but you can change what’s coming ahead. (Other blogs on this topic are below)

FREE GIVEAWAY: Get more inspirational Godly advice from the first two chapters of my book-absolutely FREE! Just subscribe to my blog! Subscribing is free and will give you instant access to all my posts! Subscribe now at the top right-hand side of the page. Read more about my book here.  

What do you do to cope in times of difficulty? Comment, share your thoughts, and share this post to help others (just click the links below)!

I love you,

Jordone

Jordonewrites@gmail.com

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Other Blogs on This Topic: How Jordone Overcame Depression, How Jordone Overcame Suicidal Thoughts

 

So, You Think All the Good Men Have Gone and You’re Ready to Find Better…Read This:

Pic Source: http://www.lostgraduatemagazine.com

Before my relationship with God, I can recall a point in my life where I felt like there was no hope in men!

I mean …I had experienced them all-the cheaters, the liars, the “down lowers,” and  the quick tempered!

If you name it, I had been through it!

I thought I had gone through about as much as I could take until even worse happened-I was raped.

After that, I was done! I was threw with men! I hated them! I remember telling myself I rather just be gay than to keep going through life trying to find a good man.

Thank God, I didn’t go through with that thought. Instead, I went to my bedroom, closed the door, fell on the ground, and poured out to God in tears.

I told him I was tired, that I was sick of trying to live life my way, and that I was ready to give Him my all.

Experiencing rape was the last straw for me. I didn’t decide to give up on men. But, I did decide that I needed to do some serious self-examination within myself.

Jordone, what do you mean self-examination? Are you blaming yourself for getting raped?

No, I’m not blaming myself at all. But, I do know that God was tugging on my heart long before the rape ever happened. It was my choice to ignore the call. Therefore, I had to accept the path God was trying to help me avoid.

Even though getting raped wasn’t my fault, it did help me see that there were some choices in my life I needed to change.

You see, we will always attract whatever we give off. The clothes we wear, the attitudes we have, and the opportunities we go after will all attract a certain man.

For me, my public life was spotless. But, my relationship with God was a wreck. I was going to church, but had no personal life with my Savior. I wasn’t obeying His commands. So, that’s the kind of men I would attract-the kind that could quote scriptures and said they loved God, but really didn’t.

There comes a point where we must examine ourselves. Our relationships with people will always directly reflect our relationships with God. Dating someone is a choice that we make. So, if we constantly find ourselves with the wrong people, we have to look back to the source-our relationships with God.

If we can honestly examine where we are with God, it’s easier to identify what the real problem is.

But, Jordone, my relationship with God is already good!

Yes, but are you trying to force a man into a season he doesn’t belong in? Don’t awaken love before it arises (Song of Solomon 8:4). You’ll constantly come up short and blame the men. Instead, examine yourself. Are you being patient? Wait on God. (Additional blogs and scriptures on this topic are below)

My book, I Believe in God, Now What?, reveals my past battles with alcohol abuse, drug addiction, and rape in an effort to help others find forgiveness, love, and healing in Christ. Read more about the book here.  

When you subscribe to my blog, you’ll get the first two chapters of my book absolutely FREE! Subscribing is free-just go to the top right hand side of the page.

Did you find this blog inspirational? Then please share so it can inspire others! You never know someone’s story-your help could save someone’s life. Thanks for your support!

Love,

Jordone

Jordonewrites@gmail.com

Did you find this blog helpful? Do you have a blog request? Just want to talk? Reach out to me:

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Or comment below to tell me your thoughts.

Other Blogs on this topic: 1) “How in the World Can I Be Abstinent in a World Full of Sex?”, 2) “Where is my Adam?,” 3) “Struggling with Discontent: When Is my Time?!” 

Additional Scriptures on this topic: Psalm 37:5: “Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass.”

Also see: Psalm 37: 7, Psalm 37:4 , Isaiah 41:29, Isaiah 41:31, Isaiah 54:5

 

 

Me and my Eddie. We’ve been in an abstinent Godly relationship for about a year now and we’re looking forward to marriage! I never would have got him if I didn’t learn to first examine myself and my relationship with God. Ladies, seek God first. Put your all in Him and His Word and all else will follow (paraphrased-Matthew 6:33)!

How Can Your Father’s Absent Love Affect Your Future Relationships?

           My loving Father and I. This was taken my sophomore year

of college at my sister’s debutante ball. 

 

There are so many people who feel like their father’s love is missing from their lives.

 

Sometimes, it’s the parent’s fault. Other times, the parent tried their best, but the child still felt neglected. For me, it was the latter.

 

I grew up in a two-parent married household. Each of my parents worked extremely hard for my little sister and I. They loved us tremendously.

 

Still, being the ungrateful daughter that I was, I became very rebellious, irate, and resentful towards my parents, especially my father. Unable to recognize the love he was giving me, I spent many of my teen years lashing out at him, never truly finding the strength to forgive myself until my early twenties.

 

Although my father didn’t deserve that treatment, reminiscing on my past reactions has helped me to understand why my past relationships were always such a mess.

Being the lonely, insecure woman that I was, I settled so much. There was an absence of love that I felt from my father. Instead of seeking that love in God, I searched for it in relationships, men, and sex.

 

So, why am I telling you this?

 

Because I believe I’m not alone. I know that there are many young women and men out there who feel neglected or abused by their fathers. Please note, I am not saying that my father did either. But, if your present is like my past, then your relationships have always mirrored the love you feel you missed out on.

A child will always base their understanding of love according to the treatment their parent(s) give them. If that child doesn’t get the love they feel they deserve, they will naturally yearn to find it other places as they get older. Often times, this yearning becomes the fuel to have relationships, sex, and feel loved.

 

Here’s the problem with that:

 

If you are like me, not forgiving the wounds from your past, then you won’t be looking for a relationship for the right reasons. Your heart won’t be healed, so you’ll naturally settle for what you desire, instead of what you truly deserve. One relationship after the other, it will always seem as if something goes wrong or things just don’t work out.

 

You know why?

It’s because you are searching for healing in relationships. But, God is the only one who can close those empty voids.

 

Even though my past relationships were terrible, my current relationship is completely different. It’s an abstinent Godly relationship that I’ve had for about eight months now. One of the main reasons that the relationship is so different than my others is because I found healing in God.

 

Once I learned to become whole through the Lord, I was no longer looking for a relationship to replace what I felt I missed out on with my father. Instead, I was letting God do the searching for me. I became content with myself and let Him lead the way. God would have never opened the door for this relationship if I hadn’t learned to first forgive myself.

 

If you have a burden on your heart from your father, you have to let that go. You have to forgive. Otherwise, your relationships and marriage will always be a reflection of a healing that still needs to take place. Don’t be so quick to say, “Oh I know I’ve forgiven that man.” People hear words, but God knows the heart. Even if you think you’ve forgiven, go to God in prayer and ask Him. If you’re sure, then there’s no hurt in at least approaching Him with the question.

 

This blog can apply to either someone’s father or mother. It doesn’t matter the mistake or the level of neglect. If Jesus can lie on a wooden cross and still ask His Father to forgive those who nailed Him, then you can do the same for your parent. If you don’t, the only one you will truly hurt is yourself. You don’t have to do it by yourself, and you don’t have to expect the hurt to leave overnight. Ask God for help, be patient, and let Him lead the way.

My book I Believe in God, Now What? reveals my past battles with alcohol abuse, weed addiction, and rape in an effort to help others find forgiveness, love, and healing in Christ. Read more about the book here.  

When you subscribe to my blog, you’ll get the first two chapters of my book absolutely free! Subscribing is free-just go to the top right hand side of the page.

Did you find this blog inspirational? Then please share so it can inspire others! You never know someone’s story-your help could save someone’s life. Thanks for your support!

 

Love,

Jordone

Jordonewrites@gmail.com

Did you find this blog helpful? Do you have a blog request? Just want to talk? Reach out to me:

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Why Does Love Hurt?: Abusive Relationships

Photo Source: stewardl.hubpages.com

 

I want us to change the way we look at abuse.

 

Yes, abuse is physical or emotional harm that someone does against you.

 

However, an abusive relationship can also be one where you are allowing yourself to accept any treatment you don’t deserve. In this case, it’s not so much that a person is abusing you as much as it is that you are allowing yourself to be abused.

 

Let’s take for instance that a man is cheating on you. He’s a dog and you know it. Yet, each time he does it, you take him back. That’s abuse that you allow. An abusive relationship is not just one where you get beat up, it’s also one that you get taken advantage of. That person is abusing your kindness, your time, and your love towards them. And, to be honest, you’re allowing them to.

 

Before my life with God, I cheated and was cheated on. These types of relationships are so unhealthy and are filled with confusion. God is not the author of confusion. Where confusion is present, God is not. I had to get out of the messy life and relationships I was in. It began to affect my attitude about life. I only accepted this kind of treatment because of how I saw myself. I didn’t know God or my self-worth in Him. So, I settled for less than I was truly worth.

 

Many people fall into hurtful relationships and say, ‘why does love have to hurt?’

 

They become confused and lost about what love really is and eventually close themselves off from an opportunity to receive God’s blessings. Instead of forgiving, they hold that bondage in their hearts, only to hinder themselves from receiving the better that God has for them.

 

Let me tell you something, love does not and will not ever hurt. If you are in an abusive relationship or allowing yourself to be abused, that’s not love! That’s pain you are keeping on yourself by not removing yourself from the situation.

 

No, what’s happening to you is not your fault. No, you aren’t to blame. But, if you are choosing to stay in something that is hurtful and calling it “love,” you have no one else to blame but yourself. You have to get out. God is nowhere in that confusion because He’s not the author of confusion. He’s the author of love.

 

Nowhere in the Bible does it ever say anything about love being abusive, dishonest, or envious. In fact, it never says that love is a feeling either.

Love is an action. It’s a verb. You don’t feel love. You show love.

 

Love is not jealous, but “patient and kind.” (1 Corinthians 13:4).

So, if someone is doing you wrong but saying they love you they are lying because their actions don’t prove the words that are coming out of their mouths!

 

Stop accepting abuse. No, I’m not just talking about the abuse that leaves you beat up all over the face. Yes, that kind of abuse is just as bad and you certainly need to leave that type of relationship as well. But, for now, I’m talking about the abuse that you do to yourself! The moments you take a two-timing dog back, the mind tricks you allow him to play on your heart, and the blatant signs of cheating and flirting that you ignore because you don’t want to be alone! You are abusing yourself.

 

Do you know your worth? A Man died for you so that you could live! That is how much God loves you. If He did all that so that He could have your heart, do you really think He wants you to settle for the little you have in your hand now? Let it go! You’re worth more. You’re worth the serious commitment. You’re worth the wait. Move on.

My book I Believe in God, Now What? reveals my past battles with alcohol abuse, weed addiction, and rape in an effort to help others find forgiveness, love, and healing in Christ. Read more about the book here.  

When you subscribe to my blog, you’ll get the first two chapters of my book absolutely free! Subscribing is free-just go to the top right hand side of the page.

Did you find this blog inspirational? Then please share so it can inspire others! You never know someone’s story-your help could save someone’s life. Thanks for your support!

Love,

Jordone

Jordonewrites@gmail.com

Did you find this blog helpful? Do you have a blog request? Just want to talk? Reach out to me:

Tweet Follow @JordoneWrites 

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The Truth About Someone Who Breaks Up With You Because of Your Past

Picture Source: www.searchquotes.com

So, you’ve been with your significant other for quite sometime now. You all have fun, finish each other’s sentences, and have phone conversations until 2 am.

Everything is going great. So, you decide you’re comfortable enough to reveal those details about your life that very few people know.

Initially, you’re glad that you decided to be honest with this person, but soon you realize they are beginning to act distant. Before you know it, they’ve broken up with you.

“I never should have told them that,” you tell yourself.

You go on crying for a few days as they ignore your calls and texts. Their actions lead you to believe you’ve done something wrong.

I’m here to tell you that you did not do anything wrong.

Everyone has some wrong they have done. At some point in time in our lives, we have all fallen short of the glory of God.

If you look at my other blogs  you can read about my battles with alcohol, fornication, and lust. Turning a new leaf, the Lord has used me to write about these experiences to be an inspiration to others who struggle with similar issues. Needless to say, my past is out on the Internet for the whole world to see.

Not only does my boyfriend support my blog, but he often helps me with the editing too! He’s not ashamed, he doesn’t beat me up, and not once has he ever thrown any of my past back in my face during a disagreement. He loves me for me, regardless of what I used to do. He values me based upon my worth in Christ and this scripture:

So, no you weren’t wrong to bring up your past with the one you thought you were going to be with. That’s what love does, it’s honest and upfront. Anyone who couldn’t accept that obviously wasn’t ready to love you back. They didn’t realize your worth or the worth of that relationship. They put their pride above everything else, and that’s not your fault.

A few quick tips to remember:

1)Don’t let that situation hinder you from being open again in the future. No one has the right to judge you except for God.

2)Thank them because they kept you from wasting anymore of your time than needed.

3)They have proven they aren’t marriage material. Marriage material realizes that mistakes of the past aren’t worth the relationship itself.

4) Most importantly, FORGIVE them. If you don’t forgive, you will only hurt yourself because you will take old baggage into a new relationship. As Christians, our forgiveness must happen immediately because that’s the same grace that God gives us. The hurt may take time to do away with, but the forgiveness must happen immediately. Give that hurt to God by seeking His Word wholeheartedly. That void can only be healed through Him, not other men or things.

Move on and be happy that they showed you their true colors before you wasted anymore time with them. True love and marriage requires work. That work requires both parties to be in the relationship for the long haul. If that person couldn’t even stay with you because of your past, do you really think they have what it takes to build a future with them?

My book I Believe in God, Now What? reveals my past battles with alcohol abuse, weed addiction, and rape in an effort to help others find forgiveness, love, and healing in Christ. Read more about the book here.  

When you subscribe to my blog, you’ll get the first two chapters of my book absolutely free! Subscribing is free-just go to the top right hand side of the page.

Did you find this blog inspirational? Then please share so it can inspire others! You never know someone’s story-your help could save someone’s life. Thanks for your support!

 

Love,

Jordone

Jordonewrites@gmail.com

Did you find this blog helpful? Do you have a blog request? Just want to talk? Reach out to me:

Tweet Follow @JordoneWrites 

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Check out my writing about my experience with the Peace Corps Morocco, Africa program.

 

 

My boyfriend and I 

PS-I’m sorry that my blog did not go up this past Friday. I was at a Pinky Promise (abstinence and Godly conference) event that I will be blogging about soon! Love you guys and thank you for your patience.

So, you really want to stop having sex, but keep finding yourself in temptation? Here’s what to do…

Picture source: beawareorbeafraid.blogspot.com

 

Yes, I know it’s hard. You’ve tried for months and years now to stop having sex. Yet, temptation seems to always find it’s way back to you.

 

I’ve been there. For me, that temptation was alcohol. (Read about it here). Before my relationship with God, drinking and partying had a tendency to lead to sex. Instead of channeling my low self-esteem into God, I was using worldly sources to attempt to solve my problems.

 

Of course, the alcohol, sex, and partying would pacify my pain, but the issues I hadn’t dealt with within myself were still there the next morning. This battle continued on for a lot of my life until I finally let go and gave my hurt and pain to God, only then did I have the strength to fight the temptation that kept coming my way.

 

If you want to stop something, you have to get to the root of the issue. You have to deal with the real problem. My problem wasn’t that I couldn’t stop having sex, it was that I hadn’t learned to value myself the way God did and still does. My low self-esteem is what led to the sex long before the temptation even came into the picture. Once I was able to identify the real problem, I knew how to really avoid the temptation.

 

So, what am I saying? I’m trying to tell you that if you want to win this battle over temptation, then you’re going to have to ask God to help you identify what the real problem is. You have to get to the root of the temptation, not just focus on the temptation itself. 

 

So, what keeps you from acting out on your desire to abstain? Maybe the root of your issue is addiction, past hurt, or the fact that you really don’t value God’s presence in your life as much as you think you do?

 

As Christians, our love for God has to go beyond Sunday morning worship. Our lives during the week have to reflect that we are spending personal time with Him if we are truly going to be ready when the battle appears. Personal time with God is how we learn to really value a relationship with Him. Purely going to Sunday services will not be enough to help you win this war.

 

So, I’m telling you right now to take your issues to God. Deal with you. Deal with the fact that you don’t like to look at yourself in the mirror. Deal with the fact that you don’t feel content unless a man is around. Deal with the fact that you don’t think you’re good, pretty, or smart enough. Handle your insecurities by giving them to God. If you want to be secure in things that God is asking you to do, you’re going to have to be secure in Him. Ask Him to help you see yourself how He sees you. Whenever you deal with the real issues and cancel those out, then having faith in God and knowing you can wait until marriage will be a lot easier. You won’t find yourself unable to fight temptation because you would have learned to deal with the real problems.

My book I Believe in God, Now What? reveals my past battles with alcohol abuse, weed addiction, and rape in an effort to help others find forgiveness, love, and healing in Christ. Read more about the book here.  

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Love,

Jordone

Jordonewrites@gmail.com

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Check out my writing about my experience with the Peace Corps Morocco, Africa program.

 

 

 

 

God Hasn’t Forgotten About You

source: http://www.pinterest.com/TrevANDJac/jesus-christ-is-my-king/

 

Frustration was plaguing my mind quite a bit this week.

 

Since I came back from the Peace Corps, I’ve been in a season where I’ve been looking for full time work. I’ve applied for jobs that I’m over qualified for and under qualified for. Still, only rejection letters have come my way.

 

The lack of sufficient pay has forced me to live with my parents. Needless to say, I’ve been in a season of uncomfort.

 

Most mornings would start out great. My Bible reading would leave me feeling really energized and ready to conquer the day. Then, at slightest sign of discomfort, I would go back to feeling frustrated about my situation again.

 

Truly, the problem was that I gave my negative thoughts time to mull. I’m not alone on this one. Too often, instead of instantly fighting negativity with the power of the Word, we make the mistake of letting our thoughts sit. Consequently, we give them time to make way into our spirits, words, and actions.

 

source: http://bit.ly/1pTOiTM

Not long after those negative thoughts came, I found myself confused about being patient for God.

 

“You’re crazy to wait on the Lord,” a thought would say.

 

So, I would pray for strength, but my prayers were only fueled out of irritation that I shouldn’t have allowed to gather in the first place.

 

Soon enough, I was uttering the prayer that many of us say too often, “God, I feel like you’ve forgotten about me.”

 

And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful. Mark 4:19

 

The scripture above says that it’s the cares of this world that will cause us to forget about God’s Word. We let our jobs, money, family, and relationship problems cause us to think we no longer matter to Him.

 

His promises, His love, and His care are all so clear in His Word. Time and time again, He proves to us how much he cares.

 

Source: http://www.pinterest.com/majaldita/pins/

 

Although we sin and make mistakes, His love still shines on our lives through the breathe He allows us to breathe, the food He allows us to eat, and the clothes He puts on our backs. Yet, at the faintest sign of uncomfort we begin to cringe and think that God has forgotten about us.

 

Source: audrina1759.wordpress.com

 

God will call you to a season of uncomfort to prepare you for greater. Great callings will always cause for great affliction. Look at President Obama. Do you think that everyday for him is comfortable just because he lives in the White House? The higher the calling, the greater the affliction and preparation.

 

If anything, God hasn’t forgotten about you, He’s preparing you for so much more. He’s molding you for the purpose He has for you. Just because everything around you seems like it’s not going the way you think it should, it doesn’t mean God doesn’t care. God is always kind, even in our affliction.

 

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up.” 1 Corinthians 13:4

 

If we say we love God, that means we have to be willing to suffer long for Him, not in vain, but because there’s a purpose in your suffering. God doesn’t waste people’s time. He wouldn’t allow you to go through something simply for the sake of doing so.

 

My problem with frustration started the moment I neglected to fight my negative thoughts with a scripture. There is power in the Word of God. It’s our weapon. So, when evil thoughts come, we have to immediately counteract them with the truth, the Word.

 

 

Source: http://bit.ly/TT6ZMD

If Satan tries to tell you, “God isn’t going to get you through this,” don’t let that thought sit, meditate, and develop into other thoughts. Immediately speak back to that thought with the truth and say, “The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust.” Psalms 27:8

If Christ suffered the cross for us, can’t we handle what God is only taking us through to make us stronger? In order for God to take care of your situation, you must give Him your life. How can He take care of what He doesn’t have?

If you want to give the Lord your life, simply pray out loud this prayer of salvation, “Lord, come into my life and live through me. I believe you died for me and that you were raised from the dead after three days. Come into the depth of my heart and show me my purpose for living. I want to live your will for my life. I admit that I’m a sinner. Forgive me for sins. I love you Lord. Give me understanding, wisdom, knowledge, and discernment for all things in my life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

 

Have you ever experienced frustration like mine? Comment or email me about it, I’d love to hear your story.

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I love you,

Jordone.

Jordone.Branch@yahoo.com

 My inspirational book will be released in 2014. The book will share personal stories about my life’s struggles in an effort to encourage others to grow deeper in God as they conquer pain, hurt, and unforgiveness through Christ.

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Check out my writing about my experience with the Peace Corps Morocco, Africa program. If you would like to work with me as a writer, guest, or speaker feel free to contact me via email.

 

Source: toriblocker.wordpress.com

 

Why a Spouse Can Never Be Your Everything

             

             I used to be one of those people that was always hungry to be in a relationship.

             I hated the thought of being alone.

             I would have one boyfriend then, only a month after we broke up, I was ready to go out on a date to meet someone else.

            If I didn’t have anything planned on Friday nights, I would scatter my contact list trying to find someone to hang out with so that I didn’t have to be by myself on a weekend.

            I was extremely insecure, so having others around me was my form of security. Specifically, having a boyfriend made me feel loved. It was a way to block out all the negative thoughts that caused me to think low of myself.

             To be honest with you, sometimes I would have boyfriends that I wasn’t really attracted to and often times I would accept a date just to have something to do.

             I didn’t value myself. So, since I didn’t have a sense of self-worth, I looked to people and men as forms of comfort. I felt like I needed them to validate who I was.

            We all have the desire to love and be loved. Love is the one connection that we all have because God, or love, is the source that we all come from. The real love we are hoping for can’t be found in a significant other, it can only be found in God.

           When I had the opportunity to experience God’s love for myself, I realized that what I was hoping for in a man could never supply me the way that God can. I also began to understand that only God could cure my low self-esteem, loneliness, and insecurities. Using a man to try to fill the voids that I was feeling would only make the situation worse because I was forever expecting a boyfriend to handle my emotional needs in a way that no human is capable of doing.

            No matter what psychiatrist or doctor you go to, true emotional healing can only be dealt with through the works of God.  For so long, I was looking for healing in the form of a man, not knowing that those dates would do nothing but pacify the pain, not heal the wounds.

           So, time after time, I would expect more from my boyfriends than what they could give me. I was expecting them to make me feel better about myself and build my self-confidence. Instead, I should have just been going to God.

          Now that I have God’s peace, it’s a blessing to understand what true love really does feel like.

          For about six months, I have been in my first relationship since finding God. This boyfriend has been completely different than my past relationships. Now, I can enjoy my relationship freely because I’m not looking for my boyfriend to heal wounds he could never heal.

          Another great aspect of having a boyfriend and God at the same time is that I’m not looking for another human to complete me byway of a relationship. I have the understanding that I love my boyfriend, but he’s not my everything because only God can be that. If you found this blog inspirational, then please share so it can inspire others!

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Love,

Jordonewrites@gmail.com

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Other blogs on this topic: 

1) Six Reasons to Let Him Go After the First Date

2) Honey, Your Vagina is Not Your Worth 

3) Why Won’t God Send You a Husband? 

4) The Top 5 Reasons Many Christian Women Stay Single