Anybody Else Want to End the Cycle of Toxic Relationships?

My husband, Eddie, and I during our engagement photos last spring.

In one relationship, I remember dating this guy in college.

The whole relationship started in a toxic mess and it continued that way for another two years.

We went out drinking one night, slept together, and built an attraction off of lust.

From that point on, we were inseparable. We were always clubbing together, drinking together, or having sex.

I had gotten wrapped into a ball of lust that I would soon begin to sink into.

During my junior year of college, I decided to study abroad and we began a long distance relationship.

Little did I know, while I was thousands of miles away, he was cheating on me.

Soon, he called me crying, saying he was lonely, and begging for forgiveness.

Out of insecurity, I took him back.

When I got back from studying abroad, our toxic relationship only continued.

We moved in together, began arguing a lot, and before I knew it, I was checking his phone often.

I was constantly looking for any dirt I could find.

Then one day while scrolling through the text messages in his phone, I found what I was looking for. It was a “sext” message from another man.

There you have it. My toxic relationship was worse than I realized.

Not only was this guy cheating on me, but he was battling homosexual desires.

Let me tell you something.

With everything within me, I want you to avoid the foolish, toxic relationships that I had.

I don’t want you to be blinded by guys that say they go to church or love God, but then they still try to sleep with you.

I’ve been there, done that, and wrote a book about it. (Literally, I have wrote a book about it! You can read the sample here: I Believe in God, Now What?)

From experience, I can tell you that the life of toxic relationships without God isn’t one you want.

So, for the next few blogs, I’ll be revealing the secrets that God has taught me over the years that helped me to end my cycle of toxic relationships.

The first secret is this: hunger for God can keep you from the wrong relationship.

When I was wrapped up in those negative relationships, I wasn’t hungry for God.

I was going to church and I called myself “saved” but I wasn’t truly hungry for a relationship with Him. I didn’t have a strong desire for His Word.

Think of it this way.

When you’re really hungry in a grocery store, you’re more likely likely to buy things you don’t need because your appetite is strong.

Yet, when you go into the grocery store already full, you already know what you want and you’re less likely to just pick any old thing off the shelf.

Relationships and God are no different.

When you are hungry for the Lord, He’ll fill you with righteousness.

When you’re full of the Lord, you know what you want in life, relationships, and for your destiny. You are hungry for Him, so you are less likely to pick out any old thing that looks good in a pair of pants. You have a “list” and you stick to it.

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. Matthew 5:6, KJV

If you find yourself in toxic relationships, I encourage you to examine your hunger for God. Yes, you go to church and serve in ministries, but do you truly desire the Lord? Or is your relationship with Him just a routine?

Next week, I’ll reveal another secret to end toxic relationships that the Lord has revealed to me over the years.

Have you read my free book sample? It shares my testimony of overcoming toxic relationships, promiscuity, depression, a suicidal attempt, addiction, and much more. It’s free for a limited time: click here to read the sample of I Believe in God, Now What?

Comment below…I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Love,

Email me with your prayer requests, questions or comments at Jordone (at) JordoneWrites (dot) org

The Top Reasons You Shouldn’t Pick a Spouse Without God

My husband Eddie and I after our wedding this past July 2017

How would you feel if you woke up to your future husband and suddenly realized you had gotten married for the wrong reasons?

 

The man you thought you loved and cherished was actually just an attraction used to cover the voids and insecurities that you never gave to God.

 

I’m married to a loving, God-fearing husband. He cares for me, prays for me, and values our relationship.

 

But, there was a time that I was in serious danger of not meeting my husband because I was outside the will of God for my life.

 

In fact, I was so outside the will of God that I almost married the wrong guy…TWICE (or more)!

 

Let me explain…

 

Before I met Eddie (my husband), I was constantly moving from one date to the next because I was insecure, lonely, and hated being alone.

 

I loved the feeling of sex outside of marriage (even though it’s a sin) because it helped me feel wanted and desired.

 

All along, I was diving deeper into ungodly, unhealthy, toxic relationships.

 

Most of the guys I messed around with could care less about me. But, in a couple of those relationships we talked about marriage.

 

By the grace of God, it never went that far. And, looking back on my life, I’m so grateful God kept me from marrying the wrong person even in the midst of my sin.

 

I was blind, foolish, and yet I thought I was “in love.”

 

There’s one main reason I thought the wrong guys were the right guys: I wasn’t spending time with the Lord.

 

At that point in my life, I had gotten “saved” when I was 12 or so, gotten baptized, and attending church, but I wasn’t living the life of a Christian.

 

My body was in a church building, but my heart wasn’t for the Lord. So, I wasn’t spending time with Him or His Word daily.

 

God’s voice is in His Word. When you read His Word to truly get to know Him better (not to form a debate or just to say you read the Bible), you can learn more about His will for your life, His purpose for your life, and the direction He desires to lead you.  

 

Because I lacked personal time with the Lord, I was unclear about His voice or direction. Since I wasn’t living for Him, I couldn’t recognize His warnings as I continued on in negative, unhealthy relationships.

 

Another benefit of spending time with the Lord as a single woman is that you become secure in Him. Personal time with God helped me to become confident about who He is in my life; it opened my eyes and helped me to see clearly.

So, when it came time for God to show me that Eddie was my husband, I could look at him with clear eyes, not insecure, emotional, needy eyes that just wanted to be loved.

 

If you’re a single woman reading this and you struggle with insecurities and negative relationships, I encourage you to dive deeper into prayer and personal scripture reading with the Lord. If you don’t know how, check out my free devotionals that encourage you to spend daily time with God and deepen your prayer life: 27 Day Bible Study Challenge or Proverbs 31 Woman Prayer Challenge.

 

I once heard Francis Chan say in You and Me Forever, that we don’t have relationship problems, we have God problems.

 

Fix your relationship with God, and watch the other relationships in your life line up accordingly.

 

But, as always, don’t seek God just for a man, seek Him with a pure, loving, heart that just wants to be His daughter.

 

Have you read my free book sample? It shares my testimony of overcoming toxic relationships, promiscuity, depression, a suicidal attempt, addiction, and much more. It’s free for a limited time: click here to read the sample of I Believe in God, Now What?

Love,

Email me with your prayer requests, questions or comments at Jordone (at) JordoneWrites (dot) org

 

3 Prayers to Pray for Your Future Husband

Although I’m currently engaged, there was once a period of time where my fiancee and I had broken up.

During our break up, I really wanted to be with him, but I had no idea about whether God would bring us back together again.

During our break up, I spent a lot of hours praying for Eddie (my fiancee). But, my mistake was that I prayed for him according to my own desires, not God’s.

In my prayers, I was so focused on whether or not we would get back together, that I would pray more for our relationship than his soul.

I would say things like, “Lord, whoever his wife is, bless that marriage, even if it’s not me.” Now, this sounds like a nice prayer. But, my words didn’t match with my heart. So, although I was saying something selfless, the desires of my heart weren’t matching up with my words.

I was saying one thing in my prayers, but truthfully, I really wasn’t content about the idea of him marrying someone else other than me.

Even worse, my words spoke selflessness, but my heart wasn’t totally submitted to the idea of trusting God, regardless of the outcome.

As you pray, do you care more about your husband’s soul than the idea of being together?

Well, this blog is going to help you. Here’s the right way to pray for your future husband and how to encourage God to move according to your prayers:

1. “Lord, help his soul to be in agreement with your will.”– The soul is made up of your will, intellect, and emotions. Clearly, you want the will [actions], intellect [thoughts], and emotions of your man to be in alignment with God. But, more importantly, as you pray this, make sure your will, intellect, and emotions are aligned with God. Hebrews 6:19 tells us that our hope in who God is must be the anchor of our souls. If you are letting anything else other than hope in God keep you grounded, you will run into challenges as you try to pray for your husband from a pure heart.
2. “Lord, let him be submissive to your timing”– You don’t want your husband to find you a second before God’s timing. More importantly, make sure that you are also content with God’s timing as you pray this prayer. If both you and your husband are submissive to God’s timing, it will save you a lot of heartache in your relationship and throughout your marriage.
3. “Lord help him to lead our family through your Holy Spirit” – As the head of your household, you want to know that your husband clearly hears the voice of the Lord. As his support, you want to also know the voice of the Lord, too. Click here to check out my book if you want to learn more about hearing God’s voice. Now, remember that God’s voice is in His Word, so the surest way to hear God clearly is through obedience, following His Word, and spending time in His Word. As you pray these request for your husband, make sure you’re doing your part to be obedient and spend time with the Lord, too.

The day I filmed The 700 Club. Makeup by Joy Saadiq @Joy_Saadiq_MUA

A few quick things:

1. The 700 club – I was recently on the 700 club for sharing my testimony! Praise God! Click here to watch
2. The Destiny Conference– I’m hosting a Christian Career conference on June 17th. Join us to be inspired, network, and have some fun! Learn more by clicking here.
3. My book sample– You can now read my book sample for free without signing up for my email list. Click here to read.

Love,

Contact me with prayer requests, questions, advice, etc: Jordone (at) JordoneWrites (dot) org

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you ever prayed for your future husband and wondered whether God was actually hearing you? Have you ever asked God for a husband but felt discouraged because you didn’t get what you wanted immediately? Comment below…