True Life: My Story of Forgiveness and “People Bondage”

“People bondage” is something we can all relate to because it represents a struggle that everyone will go through in their lifetime.

It can be defined as an unhealthy attachment to an individual or group of people that unknowingly or knowingly causes you to live in fear.

It can be physical or mental. It also includes any negative feeling or action done upon you that keeps you from exercising forgiveness or moving on with your life in a physical or mental way.

Popular instances include:

1) An ex-boyfriend/girlfriend that cheated on you but you won’t emotionally let them go

2) An individual who made a harsh comment about your life or personality and that thought repeats itself in your mind every time you set out to try to make something of yourself

3) A parent who puts you down because you are successful but your aspirations don’t match up with their goals for your life and they are never satisfied.

All of these examples represent scenarios in which we as humans can allow people to control our lives by letting their negative opinions create a constant and never ending circulation of doubt each time we try to make positive moves in our lives.

For me, my “people bondage” deals with my days of loneliness in middle/high school and all my classmates that contributed to that loneliness by treating me in an unkind way.

I dreaded each day of high school. I spent most of my days eating lunch alone and crying after school. I begged my mother and father to let me change schools but they refused to because they were really pleased with the school system. I didn’t quite see it this way.

Each day, I remember being talked down to, picked on, laughed at and excluded. This is probably one of the reasons I am so kind today because I am so sensitive about making sure that no one ever feels how I felt. It’s a horrible feeling being disrespected and called names everyday.

Although I would laugh it off, I didn’t find it funny. I was just too insecure to stick up for myself. One of my most horrid memories is having water balloons thrown at my car as I was driving. Kids can be so mean.

These events left me with insecurities, loneliness and an extreme and dangerous desire to be accepted.

I use the word dangerous because, from experience, I can tell you that living to find fulfillment in yourself through what other people think about you is one of the worst ways to live. It causes you to live in fear and to allow the opinions of others to dictate your actions.

For years, I have had a “people bondage” towards my negative high school experiences that has caused me to define myself by what others think of me. To be completely honest with you, I am still dealing with this but am growing in this area as God permits.

You can never control what it is done to you but, with the help of the Holy Spirit, you can control how you respond.

My experiences in high school were not something I asked for but, nonetheless, I can hold no one else but myself accountable for my decision to hold those things on my heart.

How can we ask God and others around us to forgive us for our actions if we haven’t forgiven others for what they have done to us?

You have to let go of your “people bondage” in life because it will keep no one else but yourself down while the person who has hurt you moves on with their life.

There was no way I could have forgiven what was done to me by my peers on my own because the power to forgive is not within human capacity. We just can’t do it on our own. We have to ask God for help and I give Him the glory for helping me.

As I mentioned, although the forgiveness of my peers has been accomplished through the blood of Jesus, I can be honest with myself by saying that God is still working on me with an unhealthy “people bondage” that remains as an insecurity.

This insecurity keeps me from being assertive about decisions that the Lord is leading me to make.

Many times, I am confident that something is the right decision but am too afraid that others around me won’t understand.

However, in God, there is no spirit of fear but a spirit of peace. I constantly remind myself of this each day when fear tries to creep in on an area where God is trying to advance my life.

For example, about a month ago, due to personal reasons in my life, the Lord led me to finish my term with the Peace Corps early. I knew it was God telling me to do this but I was initially so scared to make the decision because I was afraid about what others would think about me.

I was allowing the same lack of self-confidence gained from high school experiences to effect my state of mind by giving me doubt.

Nevertheless, I made the best decision for myself by leaving. However, my mentality at the time let me know that there are areas of insecurity I have to work on when it comes to what people think.

This coming Friday marks my five year high school reunion. Because of my “people bondage,” I was going to allow my insecurities to keep me from going but changed my mind.

I look forward to showing up with a smile on my face and showing genuine love to those who hurt me.

Most of all, I look forward to hearing what is going on with their lives so I can sincerely know how to pray for them.

The best form of relinquishment and forgiveness through love is sincere and specific prayer. I want to pray for their happiness, goals, and endeavors. I want to put love in a place where evil once existed. However, I can’t do that if I allow my past to hinder me from attending.

I can’t wait for God’s love to shine in that room.

One of the best feelings of love in the world is forgiveness.

When you conquer wrong done to you through the Lord and feel His peace as you sincerely forgive and show love through prayer to the person who did you wrong, it makes the negative experience you went through worthwhile.

I look forward to any instance in which I can grow in strength in the Lord and feel His peace a little stronger, even if it means I have to stumble through a few road blocks to get there.

Please share this blog to inspire those in need. Bullying is a common experience. I would love for this article to inspire a kid in need. As it did with me, many bullying experiences often lead kids to become suicidal. Reading this article could save someone’s life. Please pass on. God bless!

Love,

Jordone

Jordone.Branch@yahoo.com

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My inspirational book will be released in 2014. The book will share personal stories about my life’s struggles in an effort to encourage others to conquer pain, hurt, and unforgiveness through Christ.

Check out my writing about my experience with the Peace Corps Morocco, Africa program. If you would like to work with me as a writer, guest, or speaker feel free to contact me via email.

PS- “People Bondage” is a term that I learned from blogger/author Heather Lindsey. You can check out here opinions on the topic itself here: http://heatherllindsey.blogspot.com/search?q=people+bondage#.UpLB36UjFG5. I hope her writings about her experiences blesses you like it did for me. I promise to blog about the reunion soon…God bless 🙂

..……UPDATE…….

Here’s the photo from my 5 year reunion! It was a blast! A lot of fun and it truly allowed me to see how far God has allowed me to grow in Him!

More writing on the experience to come soon!! God bless 🙂

Purpose vs. Goals

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone on this Earth has a purpose for being here. No one is here “just because.” The beauty of spending time with your creator (Christ) is that you can grow to understand why you were created. The truth is that we all have goals. However, before I leave this Earth, I want to know that I didn’t just do what I could do, I want to know that I did what I was supposed to do. What’s the difference? Achieving goals leaves you with happiness while completing your purpose leaves you with joy (a type of happiness that worldly circumstances can’t have ultimate power over). Completing goals leaves you feeling sustained and content while completing your purpose provides you with an ultimate fulfillment you didn’t even know existed. Lots of us have goals and some of them we think are aligned with God’s plans for our lives but we haven’t really stopped to take the time to ask Him: “Is this what you have planned for me? Is this why I am here on this Earth?”

Yes, you can be passionate about something but it doesn’t necessarily mean that’s what you were created to do. Plenty of people are passionate about sex but that doesn’t mean God intended for them to make careers out of it. So, the result is that you have this world full of commotion and people look around and say: “where is God in all this? How could there be a God with all of this mess?” When, in reality, He has never left us, but it us who He gave dominion over this Earth, it is us who never take the time to ask if we are living His will, and it is us who have created this mess.

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a news anchor/reporter. When I was about 5 or 6, I saw Katie Couric when she was on the “Today Show” and somehow instantly knew that was for me. I followed through with it until this year- the year that I began to really spend time with God and desired to have a better relationship with Him. Some would call me crazy for not following through with it. I had interned with CNN three times and was fortunate enough to meet people who were willing and able to help me get far in the business. However, chasing after goals the world’s way will leave you dry and tired. I didn’t want to spend my entire life chasing something that really wasn’t for me in the first place. After getting to know the Lord better, I began to understand His voice. I have only heard God’s audible voice three times in my life but He speaks in my life through people and situations everyday. I knew He was saying He had different plans for me and, if I can just trust Him, they are better than what I can even imagine for myself. Since then, God has led me to begin writing a LOT. Although I didn’t know it, these were the beginning stages of my first novel. You know what I figured out? I prefer writing and using my work to share the message of Christ much more than I prefer pursuing what I thought I wanted. That’s the wonderful thing about living a life for God, you think you have to “give up” so much but, in reality, He’s only allowing you to make room for something better. After all, the creator will always know the creation much better than the creation knows itself.

I am so grateful for this time in the Peace Corps. Since Moroccan society is generally in much less of a hurry than American society, my time here truly provided me the opportunity to just sit, pray and hear the voice of God for hours. This is time I may have not gotten had I immediately started working or gone to grad school after college. Now, I feel as if I have a clear direction of my life that is rooted in something greater than myself. Even though my purpose isn’t entirely completed yet, I already feel fulfilled because of He who lives within me. I don’t feel the desire to complete goals to feel better about myself or to define my self worth by titles of this world. My self worth is defined by something permanent and eternal. Something greater than anything in this world can offer.

A Cultural Examination of Time and Patience: Morocco vs. America

Not too long ago, I found myself questioning my purpose (click here to read about my purpose) in Morocco. A few plans that had not gone the way I envisioned them to caused me to think, “What am I doing here God?” and “Why, out of all people in the world, does this bad situation have to happen to me?” My thoughts continued as I stated in my head, “I mean, I’m a good person, what did I ever do to deserve this?” I would like to tell you what had caused me to get to this point of thinking but, unfortunately, I can’t remember. My lack of memory of what I perceived to be so negative at the time is part of the point of this blog-how often in life do we pray, hope and long for something and then, once we get it, we are so ready to blame God or be done with it all simply because of the faintest sign of trouble. Ironically, as time goes on and we look back, so often can we hardly even remember what we understood to be so horrible at the time. Why is this you ask? Well, it’s because the struggle itself never really has as much value as our ability to conquer it through Christ. What we thought was so “bad” really only required three simple solutions-time, patience and faith.

After the negative thoughts above ran through my head, I immediately caught myself and remembered, “Wait a minute Jordone-being in Morocco is EXACTLY what YOU asked for. You prayed for it. You did the application. You wanted this. You were so happy when you got it. Now, how can you praise God for the good and not for the ‘bad’?” I mean, isn’t it the “bad” that always allows you to grow in strength or brings you closer to another human being on this Earth who helps you get through the situation? In that case, was it ever really “bad” in the first place or, instead, wasn’t it really just a blessing in disguise?

Once I got myself together and began to think more positively about the situation, it changed my outlook on things and I was better able to conquer the day through the power of Christ. As you can see from my inability to remember what happened, what I was stressing over was never really as big of a deal as I had made it to be. All I really needed all along was to give the situation a little time, patience and faith.

Needless to say, living in Morocco has allowed me to mature in the area of patience. When things don’t go my way here, I don’t have the same resources available to get through my ordeals. My same friends aren’t here. My family isn’t here and the same activities I used to consider relievers, like sex, partying, drinking and smoking, I no longer participate in since I gave my life to Christ and realized those things NEVER do anything to solve the situation. In reality, they only temporarily pacify your emotions or, sometimes, can make the situation even worse.

Overall, the perception of time and patience are valued completely different in Moroccan and American culture. In America, everything and everyone aren’t always in a rush-but I would say that Americans tend to be in a much bigger rush than many other parts of the world. In Morocco, the culture here has a tendency to value the people over time itself. In America, on the other hand,  we have a tendency to value time over people. Now, this isn’t always the case in America, but it does happen quite too often.

For example, in America, I can’t tell you the number of times I had relationships with people who I saw at different events over the course of YEARS and each time we saw each other we intentionally said, “We really need to hang out one of these days.” These people were genuine and true in their words and intentions, as was I. However, we allowed work life, school life and everything else in between to either get in the way or convince us that the plans had to be cancelled for another time. In our heads, although we really cared about our relationship, we considered it okay to do this because we valued the time we had to get something done over each other.

This is the complete opposite in Morocco. People here, for the most part, put time on a back burner. Work and timing aren’t as important to them as the people around them. There are pluses and minuses to this. The pluses are that it is perfectly acceptable to be late to work because you saw a friend who needed help, when you stop by to visit someone you are expected to stay for a meal or two and may even be asked to spend the night, people easily change their schedules for you and there is never a situation too important to drop if someone you know really needs your assistance. I also admire how much time Moroccans cut out to ensure that they are spending moments with their family and friends. Too often in America do we wait for a reason or holiday to catch up with someone. However, in Americans’ defense, because America is a lot larger than Morocco, Americans tend to live further apart from each other, so distance and finances become greater factors when wanting to see someone you care about.

There are some minuses to the fact that Moroccans tend to value people over time. In the instance of professionalism, it took a lot to get used to the fact that many work related activities here may not start on time. Also, people here may drop by your home unexpected and, even if you are in the middle of something, it’s only polite to invite them in and ask them if they would like something to drink. The value of time here is so minuscule that when the clocks change for daylight savings time, some people/jobs choose to go by the “old time” and others decide to go by the “new time.” As you can imagine, this can get confusing. Take for example my conversation with a Moroccan girl last week; we were scheduled to meet at 6:30pm but she arrived at 8:00 pm saying …

Girl: “I’m sorry you were waiting so long. I was trying to tell you that I’m still on the old time.”

Me: “I don’t understand. Can’t we all just be on the same time?”

Girl: “Some people stay on the old time, others go by the new time.”

Me: “But even on the old time you are still late.” (I said this in a joking voice and we both laughed.)

Fortunately, by the end of the conversation, I persuaded her to change to the “new time” so that we could both arrive at the same casual late time for our next outing. 🙂

Living in a culture like this has taught me the importance of valuing people over time-a newfound trait that I plan on carrying back with me to America. My landlord’s wife, for example, lives in the apartment above mine and makes the effort to communicate with me everyday even it’s just to say, “Hello, how are you?” Sometimes this means bringing me food to eat and other times it means she just wants to express how much she misses me. Over a period of time, I had to recognize the errors in my ways because as much as I appreciated her visits to bring me food, her thoughtful tendency to stop by, if I was in the middle of something, caused me to have initial emotions of irritation. Then I thought to myself, “Jordone, why are you grateful for her visit when she comes to bring you something but you don’t feel that same gratitude for her time when she stops to speak-is what you are doing really that important that you can’t stop for five minutes?”

I have learned a lot from living amongst the kind and hospitable viewpoint of Moroccan life. Although time is not as important here, they truly care about the people around them and tend to give foreigners an even greater amount of loving care. The process of changing one’s mindset to value people over personal time is a humbling experience. It teaches you that while everything may have a time, it’s more important to value the experience you share with others around you. When you can learn to put people over your own time, you learn that knowing when some things will happen isn’t really as important as you think. While Morocco may have it’s hard days, it’s my responsibility to be patient through it. After all, we are the ones responsible for our blessings. I think my maturity in thinking had a lot to do with why I was easily able to recognize the faults in my thinking a few weeks back when I began to put God down for something that I had asked for! The nerve of me! I love my time in Morocco for helping me to better understand the value of patience. I love it even more for helping me to trust God in every situation. At the end of the day, He’s always got back-even when I don’t always remember to have His. That’s what I love about Him. He’s an awesome God.

So, now it’s your turn, what “trouble” in a blessing have you blamed God for? If you examine the situation, all you may need is a little patience…. 🙂

God bless you,

Jordone

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I spent some time awhile back in an area near Ariche, Morocco at a Girl’s Empowerment Camp called “G.L.O.W” (Girls Leading Our World). I made some great memories with these girls and was grateful to receive the invitation to help out. You can check out the pictures below….

Some of the other volunteers and myself helping out with dish duty. There were so many dishes that it was easier to complete them on the floor in an assembly line fashion! lol!

Henna can be a messy task! I prefer not to get it done-I don’t like the smell. However, the people here love it!

A few the girls taking the time to pose for the camera 🙂 I promise you they are much happier in person. In Moroccan culture, people here generally don’t smile in front of the camera.

Here you can see the girls are doing a self-portrait activity where they were asked to draw a photo of how they see themselves. This was one of the self-examination/empowerment activities of the week. 

The girls’ are enjoying each others’ company as they take the time to do henna. 

The coordinator of the camp, who is also a great friend of mine, had some great lectures lined up for the girls’-they learned about feminine hygiene, self breast examinations and career opportunities. The morning was spent doing the serious activities while the evenings were usually reserved for fun and leisure time.

“Being an “African” and an “American” while living in Africa: Where do I fit in?”

My article has been published by the Little Black Village and the Southern Association of Black Peace Corps Volunteers – SAB PCV. The title is “Being an “African” and an “American” while living in Africa: Where do I fit in?”

In it, I talk about how past European colonialism and U.S media stereotypes about Africa have effected many Moroccan’s ability to be empowered about their African descent. I also touch base on my reasons for wanting to live abroad to show foreigners a side of African Americans less depicted in the media. Overall, it’s a very insightful article that may show you a side of Africa you weren’t familiar with before! If you are looking to travel or live in this beautiful continent or if you are interested in hearing about personal travel experiences from a minority perspective then this is the article for you!

…Check it out here…Let me know what you think …

 http://littleblackvillage.wordpress.com/2013/07/19/community-spotlight-with-jordone-branch/

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Also, if you would like to check out my first published article, “Stereotypical thinking and it’s effect on Atlanta law enforcement,” you can view it here on page 6 of the Atlanta Association of Black Journalists Byline: http://aabj.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=196&Itemid=93

Alone but not Lonely: My Ramadan experience

Funny thing- I tried to find the perfect picture for this blog post by doing a google image search for “alone” but all the pictures that came up were of sadness and despair. Not quite the type of pictures I was looking for. Being alone has a negative stereotype of being a time of sorrowful involuntary exclusion from those around you or society in general. However, when you are happy with who you are in Christ then being by yourself won’t bother you because you know you are never alone when He lives within you.

I have learned this lesson during this current time period of Ramadan in Morocco. Ramadan is a time period of fasting for Muslims and because Morocco is a majority Muslim country, most of the people in the country are now fasting together. To Moroccans, the occasion of Ramadan is treated somewhat like an annual celebration. During the first few days, people passed me saying, “Mabruk Ramadan/Happy Ramadan” in a celebratory voice. Everyday, families eagerly gather together during evening time to break their fasts with meals larger than normal and loved ones they may have not seen for awhile. For me, however, it’s felt like a party that everyone else is having fun in except for myself, and I don’t mean that in a bad way.

Although I respect the Islam religion, I disagree with many of it’s principles and, as a follower of Christ, have chosen to not participate in the festivities of Ramadan. This makes my volunteer experience quite different from other volunteers who have used Ramadan as an opportunity to integrate with the members of their communities. I disagree with this because I don’t believe that religious fasting should be used as a means to grow closer to humanity nor should it be treated as an activity. Fasting, if done properly, is a time to feel the creator of the Universe in a way normally not felt by others on this Earth. It is a time of peace where you have the opportunity to feel the love of God in solitude like no other. The joy and strength that comes from this is somewhat indescribable. It’s a practice that should not be taken lightly. I want the people in Morocco to get to know me for who I truly am. If I were in America, I would not be fasting for Ramadan, so why should I do it now just because I am in Morocco? When you fast, it should be done for God not for other people.

The choice I have made to not participate has left me in a state of solitude. I am alone a lot lately. Yet, for the first time in my life, I am learning what it truly means to be alone but not feel lonely. Before Christ, I can recall the need to always find someone to hang out with on Friday nights and the thought of going to the movies by myself was so far removed from my mind. Since I wasn’t content with myself deep down, I preferred the company of others over my own. The downside to doing this is that it caused me to lower my standards in friendships and waste valuable time in life that I could have spent either growing strength in myself through Christ or nurturing the relationships in my life that truly did matter. The people that I hung out with didn’t care for me as much as I did for them and when trouble hits the fan, it’s easy to find out who is really there for you in life. Nevertheless, this is no longer the case for me because I have found love and true friendship in Christ who lives within me. This saves so much more time and energy than my old way of entertaining relationships that I knew weren’t best for me in the long run.

 Looking back on it, I think I was also unhappy being alone because I defined happiness according to the world’s standards and was living my life in adherence to those guidelines. Additionally, there were people I hadn’t forgiven and because of that I had trouble forgiving myself for the wrongs in my own life. This made being alone hard because I had to face reality with no distractions. At the time, I was naive to my unhappiness and if you were to ask me: “how do you feel about your life right now?” I probably would have responded stating how content I was. However, truth is, I wasn’t. Although money, successful careers, and an endless education may provide you with temporary happiness these things will never truly fulfill you. Why do you think millionaires and celebrities commit suicide and end up in rehab? Because the things that the world teaches you are important, in reality, really aren’t. At some point in time, even millionaires and celebrities must deal with being alone and all that is present is the thoughts and worries of life that fame and fortune can’t cover up. If you haven’t truly dealt with these worries, they can attack you at your worst. I know because I have been there. They are the kind of worries that keep us planning busy schedules so we don’t have to face how we really feel about life. They are also the kind of worries that cause us to feel “lonely” when we really aren’t alone because we have Christ right there with us but are just too blind to see it.

Overall, I am thankful for this time to be without others during Ramadan. I know I will come out of it stronger and more faithful. After the people in my community finish their time period of fasting, I am sure I will integrate with those that God intends for me to meet. In the meantime, I will just enjoy this time of solitude.

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Jordonewrites@gmail.com

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Love has no Language: My introduction to my Moroccan Neighbors….

Traveling abroad never ceases to teach me the power of love over language. In each country I have traveled to, I constantly find myself babbling over words during the initial stages of language adjustment. As Arabic has been quite difficult for me to pronounce, Morocco has been no different. Yet, what is so amazing to me is that despite my ability to fully communicate with the people around me, I still feel and recognize the love they show me.

Tonight I was followed. A strange man noticed me walking and proceeded to follow me as I was walking towards  my home. Scared and frantic, I quickly headed over to my neighbor’s door. I was unable to find any adults. I only found kids running and playing.

“Fin mama dyalk?/Where is your mother?” I asked the kids who were sitting on the porch. My horrible pronunciation along with my frightened voice tone made it too difficult for the little ones to understand me. Fortunately, their mother came out in the nick of time. Trying to communicate in a different language is extremely hard when you are in an emotional state. She recognized this and told me, “you can speak english to me.” Thank God for this lady’s English! I had never been so happy to hear those words in my life!

I told her a man was following me and we headed over to my landlord’s wife to notify her. They had trouble understanding the english word “follow,” so in the midst of everything I had to pull out my dictionary for them to finally comprehend the full picture of what I was trying to describe. At this point, a few of the other neighbors had gathered around and I was officially “the crying American girl with a dictionary in her hands.”

Above all, I was so amazed at the love that my neighbors, landlord and his family showed me. Amongst all this, the same man who was once following me was now walking back toward the direction of all the commotion surrounding me. I pointed him out to the neighbors. One of them ran over and yelled at him and my landlord quickly walked over in his direction to yell and scare him away. I don’t know if I have ever had that many people stick up for me at once.

The beauty of it all is that only one person amongst my neighbors was able to speak English but even hers was barely at novice level. Yet, even with my tiniest bit of communication skills, my neighbors were so quick to help this foreigner whom they had never met and barely knew. That’s love. Afterwards, my landlord’s wife brought me dinner, is currently making me tea and invited me up to her house to calm me down. She even shed a few tears of concern.

Living in Morocco has taught me a lot about love. I have learned that, as I Corinthians 13: 4-8 teaches us, love is not a feeling, it is an action…

^“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”

Days in Morocco may be hard and the language may be harder but the love makes it easier because it surpasses all. Today was one of those hard days. However, in life we can either choose to focus on the negative or try to appreciate the positive that comes out of it. I prefer the latter.

When Efforts Backfire: Sometimes it’s Best to be the Bigger Person….

Rabat, Morocco

The day of my Peace Corps swearing-in ceremony when I became an official volunteer.

Attire: modern moroccan dress

I have completed the training portion of my experience and am happy to say that I am officially an active Peace Corps Volunteer in Sidi Kacem, Morocco. After months of daily language and culture lessons, I can finally say that I act as an ambassador for the U.S, Americans, and all African Americans. Glory to God!

Meeting the U.S Ambassador to Morocco, Samuel L. Kaplan, and his wife. Mrs Kaplan is directly in front of me  and Mr. Kaplan is pictured two people to the left of Mrs. Kaplan.

Shaking hands with Mr. Kaplan. (U.S ambassador to Morocco)

When I first applied to the Peace Corps in 2012 during my senior year of college, I envisioned myself volunteering here in Africa in an effort to convey a more positive image of Africa to Americans and to show a more personal and favorable side of African American culture to the people of Morocco, Africa. On an international scale, people are less likely to receive positive and accurate images of African American culture from the TV, movies, and pop culture music they receive. My life goal is to challenge these stereotypes on a worldly basis by contradicting negative cultural thoughts through my journalism work, traveling, and simply allowing people from different cultures to get to know the great person I am.

Before I became a volunteer a few weeks ago, I realized that I ended up doing just the opposite as my host sister uttered the words, “You are a selfish person. I have had American friends before and they are not like this. I think maybe it’s just the African American ones who must be like this.” My heart dropped. In all my efforts to become culturally integrated by saying  “yes” when I really wanted to say  “no,” and biting my tongue from speaking about customs different than my own, I was so sure that it was noticed what a ‘sport’ I was. Little did I know, I had unknowingly done a few actions that apparently caused my entire family to deem me selfish: I took the last of the coffee at the breakfast table, chose to keep my personal Nesquik chocolate mix on my side of the room instead of in the kitchen for everyone to share, and, due to my hectic work schedule, I was hardly able to help out at home or spend time with the family. Glory to God, once I was aware of my mistakes I was able to turn their opinions of me around: I gave my Nesquik mix to my host sister so she could put it somewhere where everyone could use it, avoided drinking or eating the last of any drink or food, and I tried to squeeze in what time I could towards spending quality moments with them and helping out with the chores.

I am thankful that I was able to change my family’s opinion of myself but their negative statements about African Americans made me heavily ponder about how easy it is for one culture to make assumptions about another. If my few actions were enough to make my host sister draw conclusions about my entire race, imagine what people across the world think about African Americans every time they flip to a Lil Wayne music video or catch a glimpse of an African American actor playing in a typical drug dealer role. Unfortunately, not everyone has someone to tell them how inaccurate these images are in comparison to reality.

As humans, it is our responsibility to promote love and peace amongst each other by exemplifying the best of ourselves at all times. If we are in the position to do so, we must try our hardest to show others the wonderful qualities about the cultural categories which we represent. As much as I love my Nesquik chocolate milk in the morning, it wasn’t worth keeping it if it would keep my host sister from having ill feelings about my race. I don’t know if this blog will ever reach a rapper, actor, or celebrity who has decided to forsake the opportunity to present themselves well for the sake of a few dollars; but, if this blog does reach such a person, I’d like to take the opportunity to urge you to truly examine your life’s work and ask yourself: “am I representing my culture in a positive way? is my work something I would be proud for people across the world to see as a representation of who my race is?” Sometimes it’s better to put pride aside, be the bigger person, and stand up for making a positive statement about those groups which you represent; or, in my case, simply choose to opt for white milk instead of chocolate.

Rabat, Morocco.

All 95 of us ! Happy New Peace Corps Volunteers!

Taking an Oath

Celebrating! So happy that training is finally over! 

Getting to Know my Moroccan Host Family and Breaking Stereotypes about Africa

Posing at the Dar Chabab (Youth Center): Fes, Morocco. Photography: Stefan Agregado.

Hello all! Orientation days in Rabat, Morocco are over and I am now beginning week five of my training experience in Fes, Morocco. I will be training for another month until I begin my actual volunteer service. As a Peace Corps trainee, my typical day includes hefty courses on cultural awareness, working with youth at the “Dar Chabab Al Quods” (which means “house for youth” in english) and intensive language lessons. Afterwards, I make it home in the evening to spend time with my Moroccan host family (a Mom, Dad, 2 sisters, and a brother), eat dinner, go to sleep, and then wake up to do it all over again! Needless to say, we are busy!

Learning about Moroccan youth has been the most rewarding and insightful moments of my experience thus far. There are so many stereotypes about people of the Arab culture and living with a Moroccan host family on a daily basis has taught me the importance of not pre-judging or relying on stereotypes to assess an entire culture or person before taking the chance to know them. While I am not a muslim nor do I agree with any of the beliefs of the muslim religion, interacting with my host family has reminded me of one important fact-as humans, its important to recognize the aspects of our character which bring us together rather than the differences which separate us. What brings us together you ask?–Love. Love is the central component which connects all human beings and the one tie that made my host family experience a worthwhile adventure.

For example, my host sister, Ikram (photo below), has been nothing but hospitable to me from the moment I met her. When I caught bronchitis, she went out in the cold rain to go get my medicine, cooked all my meals, and made me warm tea for my throat. The rest of my family, especially my mother, reminds me everyday with their actions and words  of how welcoming they are. My father’s first words were “you are our daughter now and this is your home. Do as you like.”

My experience in Morocco has also contradicted many of the stereotypes people tend to have about Africa. The central topic of most U.S media news stories in relation to Africa have a tendency to focus on poverty, war, and protests.  As a result, there are many negative assumptions that people of U.S culture have made about both people of African descent and Africa as a whole. For example, before leaving to study abroad in Europe during my junior year in college, people reacted to my study abroad opportunity by saying encouraging statements like: “wow that’s exciting,” “What museums will you see?” and “Have fun!” In contrast, people’s reactions to my announcement of my travels to Africa were more negatively related and included reactions like: “Wow, are you going to live in a hut?,” “Please don’t drink the water” and “Don’t forget to get your shots.” Although these people had been to neither place for themselves, they developed assumptions based off the narrow focus of news and media in which they were exposed to about each continent. While it may be important to bring awareness to any area of need in Africa, it is even more important to know that these areas represent neither Africa nor the people of Africa in its entirety. While in Morocco as a Peace Corps volunteer and journalist, I’m hoping to change these assumptions and stereotypes through my writing and photo sharing. As always, below please find a few updated photos of my experience.

I pass by these beautiful fountains and palm trees every day during my walk home from the Dar Chabab! 🙂

Enjoying a nice Saturday afternoon in Fes, Morocco at a cafe…I love the beauty of the landscape in this photo!

Goofing around with the girls during my first Moroccan slumber party: My host sister’s friend, my host sister (Ikram), and myself.

A Moroccan Traveler …Peace Corps Journal # 1

Rabat, Morocco view from our hotel. Photography: Stefan Agregado.

Hello Everyone! Boy, do I have a lot to catch you up on! Well, the last time we spoke I was one month away from college graduation and still under the assumption that I would be volunteering in the Pacific Islands with the Peace Corps. Now, 8 months later, I have received my Bachelor’s degree from Spelman College, spent my third summer interning at CNN, another month living in New York as an in home nanny, another 3 months in home at South Carolina as a private homework tutor, and am now living in Morocco, Africa as a Peace Corps volunteer!! Whew..I know that was a lot so let’s back track so my life seems a little more organized than how those last two sentences describe.

You see, the Peace Corps is a government funded organization which gives U.S citizens an opportunity to travel/volunteer abroad to a country of the program’s choice. When I was accepted, they nominated me for a position in the Pacific Islands but also made it known that the country choice was not permanent because of the likelihood that another program may open up in a different area where my skills were more needed. That country ended up being Morocco, Africa! For the next 2 years, I will be working here as a Youth Development Volunteer.

Personally, I am happy with the country change. As many of you know, I am a journalist who has a passion for breaking minority stereotypes by changing the way people of African descent are represented in news and media industries. Out of all races, it is my opinion that people of African descent are most stereotyped in news and media images on a global basis. While in the United States, I have made it a goal to educate others of the detrimental effects of stereotypes through my journalism by drawing awareness and depicting more positive images of people of color. Now, while in Africa, my goal is to expand this mission on a global basis.

Unfortunately, the typical images that individuals receive from news and media sources about people from Africa are poverty related. In reality, this is a very narrow perspective of this vast continent that has sadly affected both the way U.S Americans think about people of African descent and also the way African Americans think about themselves. While here in Morocco, I will be using my camera to record my experience and develop news worthy stories. Through my writing and video recording, I’m looking forward to changing the way that people think about this beautiful country that I am quickly growing to enjoy.

Likewise, through my personal interactions with the people I meet in Morocco and other countries throughout Africa as I travel abroad, I’m also looking forward to changing the way that many people here may think about African Americans because of any negative media images they may have also already been exposed to. I hope you enjoy my writing and can’t wait to share my journey with you ! Below please find a sky line view of Rabat, Morocco. This is where we spent our first week in Morocco for orientation. What do you think ?!  I know, it’s Beautiful! 🙂