Did God really tell you he was “the one”?

I once went through this “situationship” where I felt like I was forcing a guy to be with me.

I use the term “situationship” because I like to keep it real. It wasn’t a relationship…I was chasing him!

I thought we were going to get married. I thought God told me he was “the one.” I thought we had it made. (Read about that experience here: “4 Ways to Tell He’ll Never Marry You”).

But, it wasn’t love. I was forcing love.

There are lots of women who walk around dating someone because they think it’s who God told them to be with. And, sometimes they are right. Sometimes.

Other times, women unintentionally fabricate the idea that God told them to be with a man because they’re eager to be with someone.

In either case, it’s important to know you should never feel like you are forcing someone to be with you. Or, that you are forced to be with someone else.

God is love. As much as God loves us, He never forces us to love Him back. Love should be given freely. Whenever I obey God in love, it’s because I choose to.

Love is a choice. When Jesus died on the cross for us, His sacrifice was a choice. He had the option to say no. But, out of love for the Father, He obeyed.

What good is love if someone is only loving you out of force?

God doesn’t want you to feel obligated to be with someone. You have to choose your mate beyond the reason of “God told me this person was the one.”

Love is never forced. So, God would never force us to love anyone. He may encourage us in the right direction. But, the choice is still yours to make.

If you only marry someone because you feel God forced you to, you’ll blame God whenever something in the marriage goes wrong.

I’m not encouraging anyone to disobey where they feel God is leading them. But, I am encouraging you to examine your motives.

In other words, whether God has told you someone is “the one” or not, make sure you are with them out of love, not force.

I encourage you to ask God about your motives as it pertains to love, obedience, and anything else He asks of you. Trust Him. Let Him lead the way.

I’m going to post a future blog on how you can know for sure whether God has told you someone is “the one.” Enter your email below to make sure you get the post in your inbox!

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Other blogs on this topic: 

1. Are You Waiting on God for a Man? Or is God Waiting on You? Click Here to Find Out…
2. How Do You Know If He Loves You?
3.  6 Reasons to Let him Go After the First Date
4.  Why Won’t God Send You a Husband?
5. “I Don’t Want a Relationship..Let’s Just Chill”..Here’s the Truth About Statements Like That…

 

 

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5 Ways to Wait on God For Your Mate

My single life before God was everything but holy.

 

I was sexing, clubbing, smoking weed, and doing anything else you can imagine to relieve my stress.

 

I called my lifestyle “living the life.” But, I wasn’t living. I was dying.

 

In the midst of my crazy life, I had the nerve to walk around saying I wanted a Godly man.

 

I would go to the clubs, smoke, shack up, and do whatever else I wanted to please my flesh.

 

Then, I would come home at night, pray, and have the nerve to blame God for not having a Godly man in my life.

 

I had nerve- a lot of nerve.

 

Ladies, take it from me: God is not your whore.

 

You can’t treat God however you want and then expect Him to give you your desires.

 

I had to stop taking advantage of God’s grace. I had to stop treating Him like a quick fix by only using Him to feel better about my pain.

 

Just because forgiveness is afforded to me, that doesn’t give me an excuse to keep intentionally sinning, fearing, and not moving forward in obedience.

 

There is a way for you to have God’s peace. But, you can only receive His peace through your obedience.

 

Yes, God may have a Godly man for you. But, you won’t find Him while you’re in the clubs, doubting God, or living however else you want.

 

If you want that Godly man, you’re going to have to be that Godly woman. You’re going to have to develop an actual relationship with God beyond Sunday morning.

 

Here are some steps towards waiting on God for a mate the right way:

1.  Make the Decision –You have to make up in your mind that you’re going to serve God first. Oftentimes, people say they are going to live for God, but their mindsets don’t line up with their words. So, in order to successfully live for God, make sure your mindset is focused on Him. Then, keep it on Him.
2. Trust Him – The key to trusting God is spending time with Him. You wouldn’t trust a stranger with your money or life because you don’t know them. But, you may trust your best friend with your money because you’ve spent time with her. Trust comes with time. The more time you spend with God, the more you know Him. The more you know Him, the easier it becomes to trust Him.
3. Be Intentional- You can’t be lazy if you want to grow in God. You’re going to have to make the effort to be with Him. He already knows who you are, now it’s time for you to get to know Him. But, you won’t know Him unless you put the time and effort in. Get up an hour before work or school to pray and read scriptures. Then, do the same thing at night before bed. Sometimes, you may be led to turn off that TV and pick up your Bible. If you want God, you’re going to have to make the effort. Be intentional about your time with Him.
4. Listen – Learn God’s voice. You’ll learn His voice as you spend more time in His Word. Always obey God immediately without hesitation. If you hesitate, you allow room for the enemy to lead you to disobedience. God’s voice will lead you to cut some people, men, and situations out of your life. Listen to Him. His instructions are a part of His love.
5. Prayer never stops- The Bible instructs us to pray and meditate on the Word throughout the day. Don’t limit your time with God to certain times of the day. Your conversation with Him should never stop. Talk to Him about what you’re doing and thinking. Don’t wonder or worry, pray. Turn your thoughts into prayers and exchange your doubt for scripture. If this blog inspired you, please use the share buttons below to inspire someone else.

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Other blogs on this topic: 

1) 3 Ways to Get What You Want From God

2) 4 Ways to Tell He’ll Never Marry You

3) Why Won’t God Send You a Husband?

4) “I Don’t Want a Relationship..Let’s Just Chill”..Here’s the Truth About Statements Like That…

5) 4 Reasons Why You’re Still Single

 

 

 

Dating Tip 102: Stop Pushing God on Your Boyfriend

I spent too much of my past dating hope.

I had exes who weren’t saved and weren’t living for God. But, I dated them with the “hope” that they would change.

I would think, “Maybe if I invite them to church, they’ll come around.”

I said God could work a miracle out of my exes. But, truthfully my hope wasn’t in God. My hope was in myself.

Ladies, we have got to stop dating hope. 

We have to learn the difference between being patient and lowering our standards.

You aren’t any man’s mother or Savior.

Yes, you should be patient with your future spouse. But, there are certain qualities a Godly man should already have prior to meeting you.

We have to stop playing God in our relationships. We have to stop making an idol out men.

• Only God can:
  • Bring a man to salvation (John 6:44) 
  • Change a man’s heart (Ezekiel 36: 26-27) 
  • Make a man live right (Philipians 2:13)

Every push towards God should be God-ordained, not self-ordained.

When we try to force God on someone, we can actually cause them to not want God at all.

We should always pray for salvation in any man’s life. But, the call towards someone else’s salvation can’t be held on your shoulders.

One of the reasons God urges us not to be “unequally yoked” is because He knows dating a man without God will eventually pull you away from God. You can claim to be pulling him, but his ways are bound to influence you.

In Christian relationships, it’s the man’s responsibility to lead the woman, not the other way around (Ephesians 5:22). If you practice leading him now, you all will only follow that pattern in marriage.

It’s time to let God do the looking for you. It’s time to let God give you a man who is already together. It’s time to stop thinking you can’t do better.

When a Godly man comes your way, you won’t have to play mama or God in his life. Through Christ, that man will have the strength to pull you closer to God.

You can do better. Yes, you do deserve God’s best for your life.

Stop listening to fear.

Fear says, “I won’t be able to find anyone else.”

Faith says, “I have greater faith in God’s will than my own. Whatever He wants, I want.”

Choose faith, not fear. If God is leading you, you aren’t leading the relationship. Trust God. Let Him lead the way. If this blog inspired you, please use the share buttons below to inspire someone else.

 

Want to prepared for your Godly husband and learn more about how to grow closer to God?…

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…My FREE book sample, I Believe in God, Now What?, shares my many battles with depression, relationships, sex, rape, and addiction to help deepen your relationship with God. 

This book is sure to answer your questions about your single life and help you move further in your walk with Christ. 

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Dating Tip 101: Shacking Up Before Marriage

I used to live with my ex before my senior year of college.

We did everything together like a married couple: we had sex, bought groceries, paid bills, and played house. We had everything down about married life except the marriage part.

To me, the situation was normal. I had plenty of friends that were playing house, too. Little did I know, my friends were just as lost as I was.

We were all in the same boat: believing in God but not living for Him. We all prayed, went to church, and knew scriptures here and there, but our lives didn’t match up with our words.

Just as much as I was playing house, I was only playing church, too.

My words spoke God, faith, and Jesus, but my actions depicted a heart after my own desires.

Shacking up was just one of the many ways I placed myself in uncompromising positions, making it difficult for God to have all of my heart.

John 9:31 declares that God doesn’t listen to those who aren’t living for Him. So, since my life didn’t reflect Jesus, my prayers and church attendance didn’t matter. Period.

If my life is focused on Jesus, I’m not having sex outside of marriage or placing myself in dangerous situations of temptation. Instead, I’m putting God before myself.

Shacking up was not the will of God for my life nor yours. How can I be focused on not having sex if I’m sleeping next to someone everyone every night? It’s not going to work! You have to either choose God or yourself…it’s just that simple.

Take it from me: if you don’t listen to God now, you will wish you did later.

There are consequences to not handling any situation God’s way. God loves us. His instructions aren’t to hurt us, but to protect us. Unmarried couples living together are more likely to produce unwanted pregnancies and have a host of other problems.

I know that the world, TV, and magazines show shacking up as okay. But, the world also doesn’t have God’s peace. The way towards God’s peace and blessings is through obedience.

Part of obedience is fleeing from Satan. When you flee from Satan, you aren’t putting yourself in situations where obedience to God becomes difficult.

If you want God to bless you with a healthy marriage, a Godly man, and a favored life, you’re going to have to do your part. Receiving all that God has for you is your responsibility. The life He has for you is impossible without obedience to His will. Trust Him and let Him lead the way. If this blog inspired you, please use the share buttons below to inspire someone else.

For a limited time, I’m offering resources about how to grow in God and read His Word. Click here or scroll down to enter your email so I can send you some of my best tips! Read more about what I’m sending by clicking here.

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Other blogs on this topic: 

1) 6 Reasons to Let him Go After the First Date

2) Why Won’t God Send You a Husband?

3) The Top 5 Reasons Many Christian Women Stay Single

4) “I Don’t Want a Relationship..Let’s Just Chill”..Here’s the Truth About Statements Like That…

5) 4 Reasons God is Better Than Sex

 

 

 

4 Reasons Why You’re Still Single

“When am I going to meet my next boyfriend?”

“When am I going to find my husband?”

“Why is everyone in a relationship except me?”

You are like me if you’ve thought any of the above thoughts.

I have been guilty of worrying about my relationship, my money, my career, and anything else you can think of.

As soon as I conquer one form of worry, it seems as if Satan is ready to find something else to make me worry about.

One of the most difficult worries I had to overcome was my desire for a man. Before God, I would make myself spiritually sick because I was so worried over something that God had already taken care of.

Have you ever realized that your worrisome mindset always leads to insecurities, depression, and negative decision making?

For example, there were times where I would go out on a date worried about whether this guy was “the one.” I would be so worried that I would start getting insecure about my worth.

Because I was in a state of insecurity, I would let my emotions get ahead of me by having pre-martial sex with him. Then, when he didn’t give me the attention I thought he would after sex, I would feel depressed and lonely.

Instead of giving my depression to God, I would become even hungrier for another man to fill my voids. And, the cycle would continue- a cycle that could have been easily avoided if I had never worried.

Ladies, it’s so important that we learn to immediately give our worries to God. Whether you are worried about your future man, your current boo, your bills, the thoughts of others, or your job, worrying will only hinder you from progression.

If you want God to prepare you for a Godly man, you’re going to have to change your mindset, not just your actions.

Imagine if God let you get married in the midst of your confused, worried mindset. You would only take that same type of negative thinking into your marriage.

Because you never gave that worry to God, your bad habit became a part of your character. Now, your husband has to deal with your nagging about the bills, children, and everything else.

Of course, such consistent behavior can easily put any marriage on the rocks. So, now you’re on the brink of a divorce because you didn’t take the time to learn how to stop worrying and trust God before you got married.

Now, you may be able to see why you are still single.

God loves you. He’s not going to let you walk into any relationship or endeavor if you are not ready.

So, if you want to accelerate your growth in the Lord, let’s look at some ways we can avoid worry.

If you aren’t doing the following, your worrying and lack of faith in God’s timing could very well be the reason why you are still single.

1) Immediate separation– Do not let worrisome thoughts sit in your mind for even a second. Immediately separate yourself from that thought. Then, replace that thought with praise. If your thought doesn’t match with Philippians 4:8, don’t think it. If your thinking is aligned with God’s thoughts, you aren’t focused on your bills or when you’ll get a man. You are focused on Him. Do you immediately separate yourself from negativity or do you allow it to dwell on your mind?

2) Believe in God’s timing– So, we all say God’s timing is perfect. But, how many of us actually believe that statement? Acts 1:7 declares that it’s not for us to know when God will bring forth His blessings. So, if you are focused on “when will my man come?”…when this or when that…you are only preparing yourself for worry! Get out of the “when” mindset and get in the God mindset. When you’re totally in Him, the “when’s” become unimportant to you. If you truly believe in God’s timing, then your actions and faith will follow that belief.

3) More time with God– From personal experience, I’ve found that worrisome thoughts are usually a sign that I’m not spending enough time in God’s Word. Don’t limit God to your personal time with Him. Is more of your free time spent scrolling through social media or praying? Pray all throughout the day. Every time you have a free moment, pull out your scriptures on your phone. You’ll only get in what you put in. So, don’t be mad at God about your situation and worrisome thoughts if you refuse to spend more time with Him. You have to do your part.

4) Get God’s Understanding– God’s understanding is an amazing concept that I learned from a book I edited: Understanding: All Success is Attained by It. Whatever God says about your situation is all the understanding you need. God only moves on faith. Have you asked Him about your situation in faith? Or, have you only gone to Him in fear and worry. If you want to know what He thinks, make sure you’ve first done all of the above to get rid of your worry. Then, approach Him in love, not fear, to find out His thoughts. Afterwards, be patient for His reply.

Instead of having faith in your desires, have faith in God’s love. I encourage you to let go of worry and apply the steps above to your life. If you want a God fearing man, show God that you’re preparing to become that God fearing woman too. Then, you can watch His blessings flow according to His will. If this blog inspired you, please share to help someone else 🙂 (other blogs on this topic are below)

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Other blogs on this topic: 

1) 6 Reasons to Let him Go After the First Date

2) Why Won’t God Send You a Husband?

3) The Top 5 Reasons Many Christian Women Stay Single

 

 

How to Know if Your Next Boyfriend Loves You

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Have you ever felt like you had to wonder about whether a guy really loved you?

You may be with a guy for sometime but, although his words express love, his actions don’t.

If this is you, I can relate to your experience. Before my relationship with God, I spent a lot of time thinking love was a feeling. I looked for love in the words and feelings of my boyfriends, instead of their actions.

Today, I understand that love is an action, not a feeling. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that love is something you feel. Love is a verb. Love is what you do, not what you say or how you feel (1 Corinthians 13:4).

I began to understand the true meaning of love as I became acquainted with the Author of Love: God. God is the source and the redeemer of love. So, you can’t have a relationship without God and call it love (1 John 4:8) because He is the core of all love. He is love.

So, when should you tell a guy you love him?

And how do you know if he loves you too?

Look, love is not some fairytale word or romantic feeling. Love is not what you look for in a relationship. Love is what is required for any relationship to operate. So, you shouldn’t even want to be with someone unless you know you love them. When your spouse gets on your nerves, love (patience, kindness, long-suffering) is what you put into effect, not feelings.

So, the question isn’t, how will you know when he loves you? The question is, why would you be with someone unless you knew that he loved you before you entered the relationship?

Before you all entered the relationship, did he show characteristics of love like patience, kindness, and selflessness for you?

You will know if a guy truly loves you through his actions, not his words.

How does he treat you when he’s mad? Does he respect your Godly decision to wait for sex until marriage? How does he act when he doesn’t get his way in life?

It’s easy to confuse fancy charisma with love. Any man can say he loves you, have a great job, put on a nice suit, drive an expensive car, open up the door for you, use great manners, and impress your friends.

Don’t be fooled by outer appearances and resumes. People look at the outer but only God knows the heart.  Let God help you see that man’s heart through his actions, not his words.

Above all else, I encourage you to do a personal Bible study on love. 1 Corinthians 13:4 and 1 John 4:8 are great places to start.

Remember that the greatest love of all has already been given to you through the works of Jesus Christ. Once you get to know Him better, God can trust you to know how to love someone else.

If this blog inspired you, share to inspire someone else.

It’s time to stop settling and start receiving your worth in a relationship. Want to prepared for your Godly husband and learn more about how to grow closer to God?…

Then click here to get your copy of I Believe in God, Now What? (ON SALE FOR A LIMITED TIME FOR 3 DOLLARS ON AMAZON!) Or get the free book sample…

…My FREE book sample, I Believe in God, Now What?, shares my many battles with depression, relationships, sex, rape, and addiction to help deepen your relationship with God. 

This book is sure to answer your questions about your single life and help you move further in your walk with Christ. 

To get the FREE book sample, click one of the following links:

Click here if you’d like to receive the book sample.

Click here if you’d like to receive the book sample plus the FREE 27 day daily devotionals (emails sent every weekday morning for 27 days straight).

To get your copy of I Believe in God, Now What? click here (ON SALE FOR A LIMITED TIME FOR 3 DOLLARS ON AMAZON!).

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3 Ways to Get What You Want From God

In my past, there was this one guy that I just knew God wanted to be my husband. I wanted a husband so bad that I confused God’s voice with my own. I thought God had told me this individual was “the one,” but He didn’t. It was simply my own desire. (Read about that experience by clicking here: “4 Ways To Tell He’ll Never Marry You”)

Actually, before building a relationship with God, I treated most of my life’s desires the same way: I assumed that if I wanted it, then God wanted it for me too.

I didn’t have a relationship with God outside of church service and I didn’t even know His voice, yet as soon as something came along that I wanted, it all of a sudden became “God’s will.”

The idea of using God’s name to support my wishes became normal. I would draft five year plans, receive job opportunities, and get into relationships without ever consulting God. I would assume that because a situation or person looked good, smelled nice, and seemed flattering, that it must be what God wanted for me. So, I would accept any open door that “looked good” and call it a “blessing.” I didn’t even know God’s voice for myself, so I hadn’t heard His opinion on what I chose to pursue. Yet, I was so sure it was “God’s will.”

Today, I have the blessing of knowing God’s voice. I can see a job opportunity that “looks” great, but I can be wise enough to know for myself whether or not it’s what He truly has for me.

As I look back on my life, I would love to know what God actually intended for me to have all those years I assumed His desires were my own. I would love to have avoided all those failed relationships and dead ends. I don’t want you to go down the same path I’ve been on, so here are three ways to truly get what you want from God:

1) Learn His Voice– God’s desires for your life are in a relationship with Him. The more you know Him, the easier it becomes to understand what He’s saying about your life. His voice is in His Word. Get in His Word and knowing His voice will follow.

2) Submit– God will not always want what you want. But, the blessing is that He will always have better for you than you can ever imagine for yourself. So, don’t be afraid to receive a “no” answer from God. Instead, trust and know that His “no” is either to protect you or prepare you for greater.

3) Only pray according to His will– I always ask God “what do you want to do about this situation?” I don’t pray something unless I’m praying according to God’s will. Prayer shouldn’t feel like the lottery-constantly guessing whether God will answer you. When you’ve been spending so much time with God, His wants become your wants. So, you naturally only want His desires for your life.

I used to smoke weed, have premarital sex, and live a life outside of God’s will, all while claiming I was pursuing goals and dreams for Him. Before claiming whether you’re doing something for God, ask yourself, “Does He have my life?”

Looking back on my past, I’m glad God cared enough to not give me what I thought I wanted! Now, I have even better. There’s not one piece of my life I’ve sacrificed for God that He hasn’t replaced with better! So, let go of whatever may be separating you from Him! I can promise you that the rewards are endless!

Be encouraged. God has greater for you than you can ever desire or want for yourself. But, you have to trust Him. He has to have your life before He can do anything with it. First, start with trusting Him and deepening your relationship with Him. Then, the life He has for you can follow.

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Other blogs on this topic:

1) 4 ways to deepen your relationship with God

2) Understanding Your Life: How to Receive Godly Success

3) Pinky Promise 2014…A Life Changing Experience

4) God Hasn’t Forgotten About You

5) The Top 5 Reasons Many Christian Women Stay Single

6)Why Won’t God Send You a Husband?

7)Six Reasons to Let Him Go After the First Date

4 Reasons God is Better Than Sex

 

Orgasm after orgasm without a commitment. That was my single life-searching for love in men and sex, instead of God. Of course, I always came up short.

I was an insecure, lonely, hot mess!

When I finally came to desire God beyond the four walls of the church, I was ready to get myself right. I was ready to give Him my all, not just on Sunday morning, but with my life.

Giving God my all meant obeying His commandments, which meant I was going to need to give up my habits that didn’t reflect a lifestyle with Him.

Of course, the world thought I was crazy. My then friends were into attending church out of tradition and religion, but not out of love. So, they were screwing around just like me. Needless to say, my new decision was something that no one around me seemed to understand, except God.

I stuck with Him. But, there were those oh too many times where I would make an idol out of my thoughts. My spirit was ready to make the right moves for God, but my flesh and mind weren’t in agreement. It seemed like all of a sudden my mind was constantly on sex! I had committed my life to the Lord and the devil was upset. Since Satan couldn’t have my life, he tried to take over my mind. Thought after thought would come. But, I would respond to those thoughts with scriptures of the truth. I would tell Satan to shut up. I would remind myself that the God within me is stronger than any temptation that comes my way.

God was teaching me that He’s better than any orgasm. The movies, music, and TV glorify God’s gift of sex, but they don’t glorify God Himself. Don’t they know that the Giver is worth more than the gift itself?

I know….I know. You’re human. You have desires. You have urges. Yes, all of these feelings are natural. But, it’s not about the feelings and thoughts you get, it’s about what you do with them.

It’s about knowing that the God you serve is worth waiting for. It’s about worshipping Him over yourself and your desires. It’s about letting Him lead your life so that you don’t end up with the many problems that I had from premarital sex (heartbreak, frustration, confusing relationships, lack of self-worth).

Yes, sex is great. Yes, an orgasm is even greater. But, it’s not greater than God. I’m telling you from experience. I’ve spent hours with God in prayer and the feeling of His presence is greater than any fleeting pleasure your body can offer you.

Learn from my experiences. I used to worship sex. By worship, I mean I chose my flesh over Him. Anytime I chose something over God, that “something” became by god, my worship, and my idol. Whether it was sex or masturbation, I was choosing to serve that pleasure instead of God. Thus, it became a form of worship. Thankfully, I found the One and true God. As time went on, He taught me there are 4 things an orgasm can’t give you:

1) Fulfillment– Your body will never stop craving its desires. It will always want more of what it wants. Why do you think you constantly want sex even after great sex? Because its not fulfilling you from within! It feels great for a moment’s time, but the results aren’t joy or lasting fulfillment. And, if you are already in a dysfunctional relationship, sex actually just makes the situation worse. Only God can fulfill you, not sex. So, stop looking to men and relationships to heal your pain and voids. Instead, look to God. He’s the only One that can ever truly complete you.

2) A Long-Lasting Relationship– Too many women and men feel forced to have sex in order to make their significant other stay around. They compromise their values and worth for the sake of what they think will be a longer lasting relationship. Wrong. I’ve been there. If someone is pressuring you to have sex to stay with them, that’s not sex or love, that’s manipulation. Others have sex with someone hoping that it will turn into something later. That’s a road to disaster too. An orgasm is not the key to a long-lasting relationship-God is. Seek a long-lasting relationship with Him first, then He can lead you to His desires for your life.

3) True Love– Sex is not love. Love can’t be found in a man’s ability to have an orgasm. Any man can do that! Sex is a feeling. Love is not a feeling. Love is not an emotion. Love is a verb, an action. Love is what you do (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). When you focus your attention towards having a Christ-centered relationship, the love will follow. When God is in the center of your relationship, you’ll have His blessings, His favor, and His grace, making the relationship that much greater. Don’t seek love in sex. You will only be chasing wind. Seek love in God and all else will follow.

4) Confidence– If you are insecure about yourself or your relationship with a guy, sex will not give you confidence about yourself or the relationship. Your confidence and worth was always meant to be found in Christ, not the fleeting pleasures of a man. Too often women, especially young girls, think they have to have sex to be confident, mature, or appear attractive. Not true. Confidence comes from within. Confidence is not within your ability to lay down with some man. If anything, sexual and emotional ties without commitment will only make you more insecure because you keep giving up your body for less than you’re worth! Look for your security in God, not sex. Love Him and He will help you to see yourself according to His perspective.

You can do this. You can wait on God. According to His will, you can trust Him for the man that will wait on you. You can know for yourself that the urge you get at night when the lights are off and your bed is lonely can be fought with God, not random hook-ups or masturbation. God wants a lasting relationship with you. But, you’re going to have to do your part. You’re going to have to trust Him. He loves you. He would never lead you astray and anything He warns you against is only to protect you. If you just let Him, He’ll guide you. He’s in this with you for the long haul. Will you join Him? (Other blogs on this topic are below). If this blog inspired you, please share to help someone else

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Jordonewrites@gmail.com

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Other blogs on this topic: 

1) Six Reasons to Let Him Go After the First Date

2) Honey, Your Vagina is Not Your Worth 

3) Why Won’t God Send You a Husband? 

4) The Top 5 Reasons Many Christian Women Stay Single

5) Common Misconceptions: Masturbation Isn’t a Sin

 

Is He Dating You or Playing You? Here’s How to Tell…

 

Have you ever felt like you were unsure where you stand with a certain guy?

You all may talk for a few days, but all of a sudden he seems to be absent from your life only to show back up a week later. You notice the confusion, but you’re too shy to bring it up.

Maybe he’s been texting you for months now. But, there’s still no real sign of a commitment. He may even act like he likes you behind closed doors. But, when you all see each other in public, his demeanor changes from flirty to friendly.

So, is he dating you or playing you?

All of the above scenarios have applied to my life at one point in time. My single life was a wreck because my relationship with God was a wreck. I was trying to have a loving relationship without the Author of Love (1 John 4:8), which is basically like trying to bake a cake without cake batter-there was no solid foundation for my relationships to form from. Consequently, I received less than I was worth. Every guy I chose was a reflection of who God didn’t want me to be with, which is why I would land in one or more of the situations above.

So, were they dating me or playing me?

Well, to answer that question, let’s look at what True Love does…

True Love will always…

1) Take Ownership– Lord means Owner. When God has your life, He owns you, not just out of obligation, but out of Love. Love takes ownership. Love does text you for months without ever claiming you as his. Love does not feel embarrassed to call you his girlfriend in front of other people. And love does not make you feel a relationship will add pressure to an already confusing situation. Love claims because love knows you are worth claiming.

2) Be Clear– Blurry titles and confusing statuses are less than what you deserve. God is clear about who we are to Him and anyone wanting to follow His footsteps should do the same. Love does not break up with you every three months. Love does not pop in and out of your life. Love does not tell you, “we should take a break and date other people.”  Love doesn’t need to “see other people” to know your worth. Confusing titles represent unclear minds. If he’s clear about who you are, no confusion is necessary.

3) Makes Effort– Let’s be real…he’s been texting you for six months but you have yet to see his face or go on a date? The Cross, the greatest Love of all, took effort. If God knows you are worth the Cross, do you not think you’re worth a date? Stop settling! Money is not an excuse. There are plenty of free ways to have a conversation (the park, the mall, taking a walk). Someone who is interested in you will do more than invite you to his house to watch a movie. He will make the effort to get to know you.

If you’re ever confused about what Love is, look at what God is. God is not a God of confusion, disorder, or disarray. So, every true form of love will be like Him. A man who is unclear about where he is in God can’t possibly be clearer about you. Stop expecting men who don’t know their Worth to give you what you’re worth. If any of the above apply to you…he’s not dating you, he’s playing you. He may be attracted to you or hoping to eventually have sex with you, but he’s not willing to wait on you. He doesn’t know your worth so he will string you along…without a clear commitment. He’s wasting your time. But, don’t be surprised, mostly likely he’s playing God too. A man will only treat you as good as he treats God.

Ladies, it’s just as important for you to do your part. You can’t expect to receive your worth until you know your Worth. Get to know God first before diving into relationships. Find yourself in Him and let Him do the looking for you. If this blog inspired you, please share to help someone else 🙂 (other blogs on this topic are below)

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Love,

Jordonewrites@gmail.com

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Other blogs on this topic: 

1) “I Don’t Want a Relationship…Let’s Just Chill”..Here’s the Truth About Statements Like That

2) 6 Reasons to Let him Go After the First Date

3) Why Won’t God Send You a Husband?

4) The Top 5 Reasons Many Christian Women Stay Single

5) 7 Ways to Prove You Love Your Man

6) 4 Ways to Tell He’ll Never Marry You

 

 

7 Ways to Prove You Love Your Man

“If you love me, then you’d have sex!”

That line is such a classic. Too often, young women think they have to open their legs to prove they love a man.

Too many women feel pressured, obligated, and sometimes forced into having sex, simply because they think having sex will prove their love for their “boo” or significant other.

Well, I have news for you. Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way, but sex is not the way to a man’s heart.

Sex may give you his drama, but it won’t give you his love.

In fact, the man who truly loves you will be the one who doesn’t make you feel you have to prove your love. He will respect your desire to honor your body for God and he won’t pressure you into doing something you’re uncomfortable with.

You do not have to open your legs to show your love to someone. Sex is not love. So, if your man is sleeping around, liking another girl, threatening to leave you, or telling you how much better he is without you, sex will not make him stay. Adding sex to an already dysfunctional relationship doesn’t cure anything. In fact, sex can only make the situation worse. Sex is not the equivalent to a loving, lasting relationship, but God is. God is love (1 John 4:8). And putting Him at the center of your relationship, from start to finish, is the key towards having true love. Including God in your relationship includes obeying His commands: wait for sex until marriage.

Love is not a feeling. Love is an action (1 Corinthians 13). It’s a verb. Love is not what you say. Love is what you do. You don’t feel love, you show love.

No, I’m not talking about the kind of false love people think exists on movies when some girl drops her panties to keep a man, then miraculously ends up keeping him until the end of the movie. I’m talking about God’s love. The kind of love that died for you on the cross over 2,000 years ago so you wouldn’t have to drop your panties.

Take it from me hunny. You are loved dearly by a God that cared for you so much that He gave His only Son to be your Savior on a cross. Because of Jesus, any sin you commit can be forgiven. He’s all the love you need. And, if you freely accept Him, you can have the love and the relationship you want according to His will. But, you have to live in His will and be obedient to His commands. That starts with knowing you’re worth more than the jerk who tells you he needs to cum inside of you in order for him to know you love him. That’s not love. That’s manipulation. And, if you follow that man, instead of God, he’ll only lead you down a path of pregnancy, pain, and heart break.

Take my advice and learn from my mistakes. Please avoid the path God is trying to keep you from. If you really want to prove you love your man, here’s how:

1) Pray for him – Too often women can be picky over our blessings. When God does bless you with that gem, be quicker to pray for him than complain about him. Avoid arguments over clothing and other minor details. Not every disagreement is worth an argument. Remember: your prayers are always more powerful than your words.

2) Encourage him – This is the man that you prayed for. Stop beating him up. That’s not love. Give him the same grace that God has given you. Love him when others don’t.

3) Believe in him – When his family beats him up or his friends make him feel inadequate, believe in him. Be the one that stands by him no matter who’s watching.

4) Give him your time, even when it’s inconvenient to do so- Use wisdom on this one. I’m not telling you not to handle your responsibilities. But, I am saying that giving your time is sometimes more valuable than giving a gift.

5) Push him – Don’t allow him to settle in life. Push him to do his best, not with pressure or force, but with kind words and out of a loving, genuine heart.

6) Submit to him – I know I won’t get a lot of “amen’s” on this one. But, the Bible is clear about submission in marriage. I’m not up for choosing which parts of God’s Word I will obey. Submission is not about calling the woman inferior. It’s about ensuring that there’s a form of leadership and order in the household. Marriage is an institution. Every business, sports team, and other successful institution in America is successful because there is a leader. Without a leader, there’s no order or control. Yes, the woman’s opinion still matters. But, when there is discord, God has given us the responsibility to submit so that He (God) can take control of the situation. Through submission, the argument can be eliminated and the focus can return to God. If the man is submitting to Christ, then both parties are actually submitting to God too. So, don’t look at submission as submitting to the man. Look at it as both individuals submitting to God.

7) Stay for the long haul – Your man has already had people from the world that have quit on him, his ideas, and his dreams. He needs his woman to act differently. You guys are a team. When faced with opposition, don’t be so quick to run away. Of course, #7 doesn’t apply to you if you are being abused mentally, emotionally, or physically. If your life is in danger, I advise you to leave. If this blog inspired you, please share the love with someone else by clicking below 🙂

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Read more about my book by clicking here. 

Love,

Jordonewrites@gmail.com

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Other blogs on this topic: 

1) “I Don’t Want a Relationship..Let’s Just Chill”: Here’s the truth About Statements Like That…

2) Attraction vs. Love…Whats’s the Difference?

3) Why Won’t God Send You a Husband?

4) 6 Reasons to Let Him Go After the First Date

5) Honey, Your Vagina is NOT Your Worth

6) 4 Ways to Tell He’ll Never Marry You

Me and my Eddie! We celebrated his 22nd bday this week!

We are looking forward to marriage!

PS-Yes, I did get a haircut..do you like?